Hi All.

Well i decided to do as my Dr. requested i went and saw a neurologist today. Met one with some brains actually, she feels that the meds they have for us are really of no value, she has yet to see them help anyone. Smart lady.  She has determined after trying to kill me that I have orthostatic tremors. The meds i am on are supposed to help these, right, we have added one to the list, we will see. However she referred me to another of her spieces  that is supposed to have this as their specialty. We went over my PET scan that i had had and finally got a real discriptive  telling of my brain, it showed considerable damage, loss or destruction if you will to both side temporal lobes and the frontal, and other abnomalities. Of course she did not know the other abs is my most wonderful sense of humor, did not have the heart to tell her.  As she did those reflect tests, it sounded like she was beating on cement on my knees. did not do well on rest of the things, but that is the way it is. Her only thoughts at this time to help me to stop shake rattle and rolling, is the possibility of DEEP BRAIN STIMULATION!!!!!! Who knows what monsters that might awake. Oh well we will see what her cohort has to say.
To all you DADS (Dads Against Diapers) you have a wonderful Fathers' Day.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

PS. for those who followed my great KOI adventure, my two prized KOI died this week. Buggers they got out of here beforre me.

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Eye to Eye Communication

All eyes were on fathers last Sunday as we celebrated Fathers Day. During Sunday worship which naturally focused on fathers, our pastor talked about what a great father his son is to Lake. When Lake misbehaves, his dad gets on eye level to talk to him. That eye-to-eye contact is key to dealing with inappropriate behavior.

Communication is a problem in any relationship, and can become a major challenge when your loved one has dementia. To keep the lines of communication open, you can develop a strategy to focus on the feelings and not the words.

Jim sometimes said just the opposite of what he meant. If he said, “It’s cold in here!” and he was sweating, I knew he meant “hot.” As the disease progressed, and aphasia silenced Jim, I learned to read his body language and facial expressions to communicate with him. If he cried, I didn’t assume he was sad, I knew he might be hurting.

Some strategies to help keep the lines of communication open with your loved one:

• Keep good eye contact as you speak.
  
  
• Use short simple words and sentences, but don’t use Elderspeak or baby talk. You are communicating with an adult who has a disease that affects his or her ability to process information.



• Pause to give your loved one time to process what you have said. Don’t expect a quick response, or even an appropriate one.



• Use gestures to reinforce your words. Early in the disease when Jim was still able to drive I learned to point left, rather than say “Turn left.”



• Tone of voice matters. When you speak in a sharp tone, the person may become anxious or combative. If you speak too rapidly or softly, they may not catch what you are saying.



• Validate the person’s concerns.

One night at the nursing home, I observed a perfect example of how a visitor helped calm a resident by validating his concerns.

The resident, Frank, fidgeted and his brow was wrinkled with worry. He wore his heavy winter coat and paced the hallway. “I need to find a way out of here,” he said. “I have to tend to my cows and put the horses up.”

A man who was leaving after a visit with another resident passed Frank in the hallway and apparently knew what worried Frank and made him restless in the evenings. He stopped and made eye contact with Frank, and patted Frank on the arm as he spoke, “Frank, I’m going to go by your house and feed your cattle and put the horses in the barn.”

Frank turned and headed back to his room. Relief made his walk lighter. “Whew!” he said, “I’m sure glad that is taken care of.”

Just like the father who used eye level communication to get his point across, you show respect by giving the conversation your full attention. You are not talking down to your loved one, but have opened up a line of communication that goes beyond words.

Copyright(c) June 2010 L.S. Fisher
http://earlyonset.blogspot.com

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Happy Father's Day

To all you dads, grandpa's and uncles a happy fathers day.  Oh by the way one to you rascals that may not be sure if you are. To our father's in harms way our troops a very special day to you my friends.

This hopefully will be the first of two posts today. My eldest has gone to the hospital already this am to have what should turn out to be our eight grandchild.  She did it once on mother's day so why not. BBQs were planned for both these occassions.

A special prayer for those in the gulf, May God Grant You Peace and Show you the Way. Amen.

More later.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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