From Sunrise Senior Living

an email i received thought you might be interested.

Message = Hi Joe,

Sunrise Senior Living has just published a new guide for Alzheimer's caregivers.  You can access/link to the Guide here: http://www.sunriseseniorliving.com/caregiverguide/

The Guide is part of a full slate of programming around World Alzheimer's Day.  On Wednesday, Sunrise is inviting caregivers to attend free information sessions at its communities across the country.  Here is a link to more info: http://www.sunriseseniorliving.com/ResourcesToRemember.aspx

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Many thanks,
Lanna Nguyen
for Sunrise Senior Living
(202) 775-0200

--------------------------------------------
Visit the new Sunrise Memory Care Blog:
http://www.sunriseseniorliving.com/MemoryCareBlog

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!

joe

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To Our Heros!!!!

On this day here in the USA we pay National Tribute to our Fallen Military Heroes that have over the centuries an at present give Their All to keep us Free.  We also pay tribute to those who are still fighting for freedom. I also celebrate all those from all Countries that have and are dieing for their Countries freedom. Remember also many of them died to help keep us free as well as our troops did for them.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours (Yours as Well)!!!!!
joe

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My Friend Carol has asked for Armagedon.

Yes Carol you have asked me to bring the wrath of the Lord on us. Me making a video of me dancing, is like asking 40 Blue Whales to come ashore and dance, it would shake the ground and mountains of the world, then you said about maybe one of me singing.  Well i do not know if you ever herd a bull mose bellow, I am far worse, cows calve, horses fold, birds take flight and forest fall down. And gardening, my idea is dig a hole put the pott with the plant in the ground, if the grass or plants get brown spray paint them with green paint. I think he who made us all would not allow such a plaque on his world done by one like me, that is his job.  I have tried to play him in my life, got no where but arrested, told to go away, drunk and strung out for years, toooooo many battle scars to do that anymore, so my friend no way.

I have thought about making a video for You Tube, but as a suffer of this disease to verbaly tell folks about this world that i and many others live in. Not the crud from the experts and sorry caregivers, who really do not know who we are, but love us enough to help. People need to really know what it truly is like for us that suffer. Have tried with my blog and my book and well, my ego is now in the way and it has gotten kikced in the ass.  Maybe the video might help as my time grows shorter.

I know I sound damn good today, but I am in a rotten mood, spent two days in court testifing  in a fraud case that cost my son 56000 investment. Good thing the judge wa s a compassionate and understanding person, because you all know how I can say things and how blunt i get. I tired as hell no sleep, hours in the court room and me basically the only witness for two days, traveling to court being out with people which just drives me squirerler than I already am. Meds have not helped much but I am here today and I guess that is what counts. Confused as hell, not really knowing what I feel or want or much of who I am anymore.

I thank all of you that responded to Lynns last post, it shows what a family we are becomming and she really was touched. But why not she is with me, so you know she is sick to. But I do thank you, because what you did and said is why this blog is here and all are welcomed.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!
joe

PS> prayer for those who fight to keep us all around the world free, and for those suffering in Japan, they did not ask for this, no more than the folks in New Orleans asked for Katrina.

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A Prior Post if You Will. With Added Comment.

A Warrior's Lament:    (by j.v. potocny)

                                                                   

I kneel before thee

Upon bended knee

My battle axe rusts upon a tree

The Steed that served me well

Now runs free and frail

He served us both with grace and might

Let him rest well each night

There is no deadly mace

That you can see before my face

Gone is my shield which I cannot hold

All that is before you is my sword and face

I have stood tall in all battles

With You I have won and battles song sung

Many with scars some with none

Since a child I have fought the fight

Now I wish for it to end this night

My strength is dried up and gone

No longer does exist that fierce warrior in me

I long to face only Thee

This battle I am in is lost and so am I

So before You I am on bended knee

Prostrate would I lay

But this body is to broken and brittle this day

So I lay before you all I have left

Worn, beaten, yearning, to you I give my soul

No longer in the dust of battle let me roam

I await You and Your Hand to take me in your time

I pray Thee take ME HOME

In Your Name Amen.

This more reflects my wishs of today and my feelings. I no longer like it here. I no longer communicate with those around me well. Most of the time I am in my own little world and do not want to be bothered by anyone. My wife has noticed more and more that I am not with those around me. This is not a friendly world it rather sucks. Things I once enjoyed are a chore, getting things done takes it seems like years to me. It feels at times like my brain is being crushed or squeezed down. It is not a headache but a sensation of being pushed out and away.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!

Joe

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Me & April

Gramps & April

There you have it, the good looking one is in the blanket, the old fart well we all know who that is. Want to share some of the good with you also.  Number eight and not counting.

God Bless All,
joe

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Happy Father's Day

To all you dads, grandpa's and uncles a happy fathers day.  Oh by the way one to you rascals that may not be sure if you are. To our father's in harms way our troops a very special day to you my friends.

This hopefully will be the first of two posts today. My eldest has gone to the hospital already this am to have what should turn out to be our eight grandchild.  She did it once on mother's day so why not. BBQs were planned for both these occassions.

A special prayer for those in the gulf, May God Grant You Peace and Show you the Way. Amen.

More later.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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New Link Added

First let me say that if you have not tried Google Chrome, you might want to, much faster.

I have added a link to the Beijing Tiantun Puhua Hospital today. This may seem strange to you, but I figure if they can use this blog as a source for them in China, least I could do was add them to my links. They contacted me, let me say that kind of took my socks off.

I needed their contact, the last couple of days have been very uncomfortable and less then memorable and they made my day. It has been difficult to know where I have been, but I know I have not been with my family or my own brain, but that is life with AD and any dementia.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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What Day Is It?

Many of you probably find that an easy question. Well around here it is asked who knows how many times each day. Then I always ask are you sure. Of course minutes later I ask all over again. My wife smiles so pleasantly and reminds me one mor time. After awhile my daughter will just say Dad it doesn't matter. I guess she is right. See to me it is always someday but I am not sure which one. If I rember I will ask from now on "Is Today, Today". hopefully it will lessen some of the frustration. But first I have to remember , now that is another story.

Oh well life goes on and I just keep doing whatever it is I do. Thanks for listening, stay well and be good to yourselves.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
Joe

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Without Further Ado & Much Fanfare!

First thanks to all you who offered their prayers for my friends Mary & Jim. I spoke to Mary via Skype today and so far so good. Again Thank you!

A Drum roll if you please!!!!!!!!!!

The old pond area, waterfall removed and relandscaped, not by me others in the house. Will be used for water plants and raising up our baby Koi that are due soon. First I have to get a male to help the preganant one.
I know you all have been waiting for the new area. Well except for getting the lighting all correct and wiring finished here it is.

Thanks for waiting and asking for the pictures, my hide away is near complete. In case you are wondering, which you have to be, where did the othjer water fall go. Well it now graces the front of the house. We also have an ornamental type pond out there.

Thank you all for beign out there for me. It is much appreciated. Now the brain is fried for the day after trying to place these pictures where they did not want to go. Thanks again!

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!

joe

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Hello All!

My ggrandson Lucas is now home from hospital and out of the NICU and mom is fine, so they do not have that stress anylonger.

We built a cover over the pond and have started to plant the area, should be done soon, then will post pictures. We have a new femaile Koi that is pregnant. She is black with a white belly and white nose so we call her Orca. Have to get a male for her, since I lost mine.

I have been trying to read a book from a friend who has been published and it comes out in June, so I cannot tell you the name yet. I am having problems with it, very slow reader I am. But what I see in it that for you care givers it probably will be good. I cannot relate to the person's feelings from this side of the fence, except to let them know that many of their feelings we have on this side. Of course we don't have the family BS of what to do with us to tend with, we just keep going on and forgetting. But I can see how it could get tacky, since we are still locked away and forgotten about. Not alot has changed over the decades.

I am starting to become disconnectd from life in general and my past and who I once was. Things seem to be of little importance anymore. Ask me this afternoon what I did this morning and I will have problems telling you and so goes the day and my life. Trying to keep a sense of humor is becoming hard, I do not like this world of mine but I cannot change it, it is what it is, shit.

Posting is getting harder. The note on my computer to do so does not help much, I just start and forget and walk away. telling of the misery of this does not even fill worhwihile anymore. There is a lonelyness that is setting in a feeling of being apart from everything, and trying to hang on I feel like I am drowning in a vast void in my mind.

So much babbling.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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Happy Turkey Day!!!!!!!

I wish to you all a very Happy Thanksgiving. Eat well and stay safe.




I was thinking of this now and felt I better post it before I drift away again this day. My thanks are for all of your support and comments.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!



Joe

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Good Morning

Wanted to say thanks to those of you taht have used the chat link, it has been fun for me. I think when i request it and the icon goes acros the screeen it scares people out, because they leave. I must admit it has woren me out. I am talking with some folks I hope to put a full time live chat room on. My hope is that it will give those who come to might site a chance to exchange ideas of this disease. Mabee it will help some of you caregivers to have others to talk to and help release some of your frustrations. Hell I know we with the disease are a handful. I find as it is progressing that I am less talkative to others, cut them off or just go to my own world and leave them out.

Physically it is getting more demanding as well, was not prepared for this part and it pisses the hell out of me. I get to ill easily, to faint and way to exhausted. Shopping is not something I tolerate well at all anymore. But there are those that are worse off than I, but I am sure I will goin them soon, the way things are progressing. Even these entries tire me out, takes to much concentration that is getting harder to hold onto.

Well enough pitty potty. You all have a great and wonderful day.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours (we need it now)!
Joe

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Who & What Am I Becoming?

There once was a tmie I could answer that but not anylonger. I have for the last several months porued myself into trying to start some things for the family to help make their financial future better. However, I remember the comment I made in the HBO thing, Once I was a genius, now I'm not. How true, it seems that once what I touched I mad work and well, now it goes to hell in a hand basket. My thoughts seem to be of the same charge and push each other out of the way, leaving avoid for confusion. That is the disease at work and having a good time of it. I find myself much more pissy and angry now, but I try to keeep the old trap shut and carry it alone. I am beginning to understand why we in this World of Ours, just sit alot and say nothing or just wander. We no longer have a grasp on things, what is real is it, I don't know any longer. I do not want to say things to family and friends because I don't want the constant hovering or them walikng on eggs. Frankly i do not know what I want, who I really am, where I have been or am going. Things from the past seem to be from yesterday and yesetrday seems to be the past. I feel truly helpless for the first time in my life. Where do we go from here? Down the tunnel.

God Bless,
Joe

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To All True American's - Happy July 4th.

TO ALL WHO HAVE FOUGHT AND DIED FOR OUR FREEDOM. THIS IS OUR TRIBUTE TO YOU! THEY WILL CARRY ON FOR YOU AND CONTINUE THE FIGHT REGARDLESS OF THOSE IN WASHINGTON THAT WANT TO SELL US TO ILLEGALS AND CHINA.

Our Country is based on the Christian and Judeo principals, no matter what the "I'm Just A Boy From Kenya" has to say. I am not normally this political on my site, but this man and the present congress are not worthy of the support of REAL AMERICANS.

So let me have it back. Just remember I will forget it and go on with what is left of my life and brain, you will be living in yours. Little AD sarcasim.

I hope YOU ALL have a geart 4th of July and remember why we have our freedoms that others even here what to take away from us.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!
Joe

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I Am Back, Ready or Not.

You know, no you don't, but this damn disease is a real bitch at times. I find myself having to seperate and kind of hide to keep from lashing out. We have had our one daughter and grand kids and son in law with us almost 3 weeks I think, am not handlin this well. I love them, but.

My wife and I are starting to lock horns more, she thought my last post was rather mean and spiteful, I think that is how she put it. My reply was, well you guessed it eat shit and bark at the moon. I write what I feel and how I see it. It may be clouded it maybe one sided, but it is all I know. I make no excuses for what and how I put it. Those that live in this World with me, they know, they understand and hopefully I say what they cannot at least for now, while I am able to . Yes I am angry as I write this today, better to put it here than where else I might.

Ino We that live with AD, really find ourselves fucked up alot of the time, understanding the real confusion and loss we feel is difficult I know for those on the outside looking in. See we can not get back to the outside to look in, we are stuck here and sinking deeper. Try to imagine the darkness starting to encase you slowly and you cannot stop it and you want out and NO not for you. What is that old saying when Casey at The Bat struck out, there is no joy in mudville.

Well enough from me. You all have a great day and wonderful life.
God know the idiots in Washington won't fix it, but only screw us more.
joe

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!

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We Will Always Remember!!!!!!!!

Lest we forget why we are FREE!!!!! To OUR TROOPS and FALLEN COMRADES, I Salute You.

God Bless You All & God Bless Our Country!!!
Joe

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