I find that it is easier to write here then to talk to others. I feel like things are becoming more confused and i am not sure wht the hell i am doing. I try to hide moset things and find it is getting harder. I try to remain happy on the outside, but inside is not so anymore. My days are just that days. they mean little, they hold no interest for me. I find being secluded much more frienndly. I feeel like everyone is watching me and not leaving me alone. The other day the shower door and I took a walk out of the shower. it is getting difficult to even take a shower. even worse harder to remember when and if i took one. this is the way life is for me now. I find it hard to enjoy my family and am beginning to drift from them, i wonder if this is the way it is for others, having some trouble finding the keys, fingers keep moombing around. Good thing for the drugs or I would looose it aroung everyone, the anger and distrust level in me is rising. i really am not in control too much anymore, i guess that is ok. the more i leave go of things the easier it seems to be, the less emotional i am and the less my head hurts.

take care until next time.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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Home Safe!

Last we were heading to Omaha or had reached there, at any rate we spent the night in Omaha. I provided comic relief for my daughter bac, in Colorado, the wind was a bitch. We stopped for gas and to get something to eat. Watching me trying to get out of the car was like an Abbott & Costello skit. The wind was so hard it kept pushing me back into the car and shutting the door on me. Well I finally managed to get out and to food.
In the morning in Omaha we took off and went to the zoo, the wind had followed us. Got a scooter there did not want to take a chance with possible rain and mine. Well as the morning rolled on so did the wind and then the rain, what a day, but hte zoo is very nice.  We ledft for the car and it was down hill, now when you get this person moving down hill he can not stop, i pick up speed, my daughter was latched on to me like an anchor but no good, had to use the care parked next to us as a stopping post. We ledt for Iowa, well 5 minutes later we were in Iowa. We were going to stop in DesMoines, but it was still early so we went on to Lake Bluff, Illinois got in about 12:30 am, Thursday morning. Spent Thursday resting I think. Not sure what we did Friday, I forget. I think we went to lunch with my brother in law and family. my days are a bit messed up. On sunday we went to downtown Chicago and met up with John and his family, met a young black fellow and family from Philadelphia who were there, like us for the Monday night Bears game.  We went out for dinner and headed home.  On Monday Kathryn and I went to the one mueseum near Soldiers Field where the game was to be. We after staying at the museum went back to Soldiers Field and back to the car which we could not find, turns out we were on the wrong level. After finding said vehicle and downing our attire and face paint for the game we went into the stadium. What a great time we had, our seats were the best almost the entire game was played directly in front of us, just like watching on TV, and of course is was a great game Dah Bears won.
HOme ward bound to Lake Bluff in the rain, but we were happy., until Kathryn noticed her wallet was gone, this is 12:30 in the morning, so we searched the car nope, no where to be found. Started immediately contacting credit cards and such to report them lost. Tuesday Kathryn call the DMV in Calif. and reported here license lost and they sent a temp Fed-X to her, which she got wednesday. Well she went out to the car to start packing it to leave and things of all things, there is her wallet under the front tire of the car. Happiness showers the day again and off we went. We left Wednesday about noon and got home about 1am Saturday morning, we stopped in Arizona but both said no lets go home. So here we are.
It was fun, but very emotional for me, Chicago holds some real bad and heart wrenching memories for me. But this trip was for Kathryn she always wanted to see a Chicago Bears game in Chicago, so time getting shorter off we went.She has her memories and I have a very tired body and sore ass. But still had fun.
No more travels to hard on me and the old body. So there you have it. Thanks for listening.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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Where in the world is joe?

Well he is in Lake Bluff, Illinois. After a much heroing journey through California to the Nevada border and the City of Sin, Las Vegas (actually loss wages), my daughter subjected me to the towering hieghts of Colorado, not only did she try to dump me off the mountains, she had the nerve to even drive through tunnels in them. She tried to get rid of me at 10,361 feet, buy i am a tuff bugger. I hang on for dear life, terrified of hieghts. We visited a wildlife refuge in Ritchfield, Co. Had to rid my sscooter on a 35 ft high ramp to view the animals. What a neat experience that was. Only bad part it was cold and windy as all get out.
We left Colorado and went on into Utah, what a beautiful State and the color of the mountains is just outstanding. from there we went onto Nebraska, got off the freeway to find the zoo we were goinhg to see in the morning, but aliens had removed it from existence, so onto Omaha to spend the night and see the Omaha zoo.
well i will leave it there for now. I and my daughter are both extremely wornen out, but we will survive. I know i left out alot of things but the brain does not want to give them to me to write. Really gets me upset and I miss my home and wife and feel very uncomfortable at this point.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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New Song

you can turn off my usual song if you wish. I do request you listen to the new song I have embeded from You Tube on the right. I cried.

I will be going on a road trip with my youngest starting next monday, so i may not post for awhile. We will head to Chicago, stopping at zoos on the way, and then seeing some of my old town. We are going to THE CHICAGO BEARS GAME vs detroit lions on the 22nd. Then will be heading home. To tell the truth i am afraid of this trip, i will be away from my security place, away from lynn, my fish and that which i am familiar with and that scares me.

In a prior post i believe a gave you a link to a new short film, Shattered Love, that is in production for you review. I have yelled long enough about a voice on this blog, so when asked I decided to put my money where my mouth is and have become an executive producer, on of some.

so there you hav it from the big brain in Oceanside, CA.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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Welcome to our world of dementia, Jim McMahon.

Some or many of you do not know Jim McMahon. He was the quarterback for my Super Bowl Champions, The Chicago Bears is 1985. To me one of the great one's, not afraid to get hit or do what it took to win the game. Not like some of the sissys today. Jim at the age of 53 now has dementia, not Alzheimer's, Lewy Bodies, Frontal Temporal or any of the others. He has the new one specially named for retired football players, chronic traumatic encephalopathy (that was cute and paste). Comes from toooooo many wacks in the head they say. Sorry Jim, you are still a favorite of mine, but now we have something in common, brains kind of scrambled.  I often wonder if my Alzheimer's and Frontal Temporal Dementia are not tied to the wonderful car door slams to my head that my wonderful asshole of a father took delight and delivering to me. Or the hits in the head by the swings in school or those from the teeterboards or whatever the where. Possibly my wonderful abilithy to fall and crack my head on the cement. Oh well whatever the cause we have it don't we Jim? Truly i am sorry for your condition, it is not fun. Believe me I and millions of others know that and wish you well. You can always contact me and we can chat, talk or write. Just know there are a great number of us out here who stand shoulder to shoulder with you.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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I am back.

A couople of weeks ago i posted that i was taking coconut oil becaues i promised a friend. Well still am and have nothing to report. It goes in and comes out. I remain the same and am getting a little bit worse each and evry day. So will continue and report. So far as i am concerned it is a ll HYPE, btu just because no hlep here so far does not mean that it might not help some people for a time.

We had the radio show on Alzheimer's Speaks Radio. I had a good time talking with Lori and feel good that someone agrees that our voices need to be heard and listened to. We may do it again some day. Will try to get link to the actual broadcast so you can hear it.  I have to say taht after the hour I was shot the rest of the day. I cannot concentrate that long and stay foccused without my head and body letting me know about it. If any of you listened I hope you enjoyed and would appreceiate hearing from you.

Now i need to fight another battle my body chringes at temps over 75, I just become worthless, more so.

For now take care of yourselves.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!!!
joe

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Hello To All

I have added new resource sites again, soon will need a website for them alone.

I went fishing behind my pond the other night. A hose ame loose on the filtering system and Mr. Fix It, went out after midnight to meet the challenge. Well all went well, connected the hose back up got the system running again, stood up turned and immediately found myself tangled up on the ground in the plants, a plant stand in the dark.  Just a badly bruised ego, some bruses scratches and aches but I am use to that, I am not stable a foot.

One thing I do to try and keep my well let us say graying matter working, is to do towels for the week on Friday, yes that is today. I got up did normal cleansing stuff, changed all the towels, put the dirty ones in the washer and behold it cleaned them. I put them in the dryer, mind you this was about 9am, it is now 7pm. My wife came home about 11am I aksed her where she had been, she gave me that look and said I told you I was going shopping. OK. I just now asked what day it was and was told Friday, immediately my wife said the towels, well you got it they were stilll in the drlyer. So I just finished folding them and putting them away, a bit behind my time.

Don't forget Tuesday to listen to the radio web show, well i guess better said i do not forget to get on it.

Life in the world of Alzheimer's never a remembering moment.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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