Showing posts with label denial. Show all posts
Showing posts with label denial. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

New Song

you can turn off my usual song if you wish. I do request you listen to the new song I have embeded from You Tube on the right. I cried.

I will be going on a road trip with my youngest starting next monday, so i may not post for awhile. We will head to Chicago, stopping at zoos on the way, and then seeing some of my old town. We are going to THE CHICAGO BEARS GAME vs detroit lions on the 22nd. Then will be heading home. To tell the truth i am afraid of this trip, i will be away from my security place, away from lynn, my fish and that which i am familiar with and that scares me.

In a prior post i believe a gave you a link to a new short film, Shattered Love, that is in production for you review. I have yelled long enough about a voice on this blog, so when asked I decided to put my money where my mouth is and have become an executive producer, on of some.

so there you hav it from the big brain in Oceanside, CA.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

Sunday, September 16, 2012

There is a new community some of you may or may not know of now on the web. I have joined it,  it consists of people involved with Alzheimer's, sufferers, caregivers, etc. It is called The Alzheimer's Community   , you can register and join, of course it is free. Come take a look and help spread the word.

My world has been very mixed up lately. I really do not know what is going on in it much anymore. Lynn has to do the check book now, even the calculator does not do what i wnat it to do. Talking is becmoing one of those one time I knew how to do that and make sense.But that is the way it goes.

I sit here and have all these things to say and when I go to they go somewhere other than on this page, it pisses me off. Making a decisssion for me takes alot of time. So much that I forget what it is that I am trying to answer or do.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

I just remembered something, I have noticed that most of my so called friends have disappeared from my life, just as they did when I stopped drinking. Quit being a drunk and loose your friends, have your brain eaten away loose your friends, seems interesting.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Sadness in one's life.

This has been a hard week for me. My bird died Easter night. I was the only one that could handle her, very picky with people. Her leaving has really messed me up, i come down in the morning and go to uncover her and feed, water, bird talk all that knid of stuff and no cage. At night I want to cover her and say goodnight again no cage or bird. She had been ill and sitting with me at nights for long periods cuddeling and sleeping, i knew time was near, but never expetced feeling this lost over it. I look forher cage and it is not there. Change is not good for me anymore I have problems with it now. I find I am angrier inside now than ever, but I fight not to let it out at others, i just leave the room come st here at this beast and do nothing or go in my bedroom and just lay there for awhile. I find the tremors and my balance worsening daily my head seems to be screwe on sideways this crap has to endlife really is beginning to suck big time. well that is the hand i have drawen and have to play.

Take care of yourselves.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Hello

just a note to say i am still here.  my days are shorter with sleeping a lot. have reduced meds. my brain is not lear on what to say all days seem the same, nothing seems to become any clearer  i just do not know what it is that i want to do anymore, wife leaves things on the calednar and well who the hell looks at it not me. I cannot remmmeber one moment to the next. my sense of humor is also leaving. You know i get upset and then am told to calm down and what i did or said is wrong. pisses me off. I feel like just not talking anymore, hell things do not come out right and then i get those looks, you know them you have given them yourselevs me too. I am starting to feel that this is my fault, although it isnot. It is just hell inside this mind of mine and growing worse by the day. With those of us out here telling, yelling, being gentle, when the fuck do we get heard. screw the rich and famous most of us are regular folks and our stories are important, i think but mainstream does not even those orgs that are supporedlly their for us.

take care and be good to yourself.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

Friday, January 6, 2012

The Remember Song

Before i give the link to this song, I want to answer Dana's question. First no question that i am assked on this blog is to personal. I have nothing to hide and wish to share all that i have. I do not take Aricept, Namenda, or Exlon (or whaterver it is called) nore the other two drugs for Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia. See I wrote all this dow so I could do this post and not use my ½ brain cell.  I did use the A&N drugs, however I got worse on them and suffered other sided affects, the nuerolgist that I went to, the best in California, told me to flush them and go on and enjooye the rest of the time I had left. So I did. 2 other neurolgists feel the same. I know some folks say they help, my issue is do they really or do theose at least some that take them think they do because that is what they were told. Read the comple pharm reports on them and you will see that they are not sure if they will work. The only medical advice if any that you will get here is talk to your doctor and make them talk with you not at you it is your body and your life. So there!
Anyone no matter were they live in the wolrd can order my book on my side for the shippping only price. Yes Karen it costs more than 6.95 for me to ship out of the states, but that is my contribution to get the word out. Besides a paid a bundle to publish it, rich i will not get, my purpose is only to share this World with others.l

Now for the link which has the credits for the song:
The Greatest Alzheimer's Song Ever!
I hope you find the humor and truth in this song. By the way I about fell out of my chair listening to it.

God Bless & Keep You & This County of Ours!
joe

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

New Drug Target For Alzheimer's, Stroke Is Discovered


From Alzheimer's Disease Research

October 17, 2011
University at Buffalo scientists have discovered a tiny piece of a critical receptor that fuels the brain as a promising new drug target for Alzheimer's and other neurodegenerative diseases.
"This is the first time that this site has been shown to be useful as a drug target," says Gabriela K. Popescu, Ph.D., associate professor of biochemistry in UB's School of Medicine and Biomedical Sciences and senior author on the study. The research on the NMDA (N-methyl-D-aspartate) receptor was published online October 11 in Nature Communications.
"If we could find a drug that attaches itself to this site and locks together NMDA receptor subunits, that would be huge for fighting disability from stroke, Alzheimer's, and other neurodegenerative diseases," Popescu said.
The research focuses on the brain's receptors for the neurotransmitter, glutamate, which is implicated in these diseases as well as in other conditions, such as glaucoma. The two main glutamate receptors in the brain are NMDA and AMPA receptors, both of which play critical roles in human learning and memory. Both types of receptors are made of four subunits and within each receptor these subunits are organized in pairs called dimers.
Because these receptors are similar in structure, scientists had assumed that they function in much the same way.
"But when we altered the dimer interface, the site where two subunits come together within each pair, we found that the NMDA receptor works just the opposite of the way that the AMPA receptor works," Popescu said. "Cementing this interface in AMPA receptors leads to more activity, whereas we found just the opposite to be true in NMDA receptors."
By locking the subunits together, the UB researchers were able to achieve a marked reduction in NMDA activity and, subsequently, a marked reduction in the amount of calcium that enters neurons in response to the neurotransmitter glutamate. Calcium overload due to overactive NMDA receptors is what eventually kills off neurons, Popescu said, leading to the symptoms that occur after a stroke, and in Alzheimer's and other neurodegenerative diseases.
"The fact that by cross-linking the subunits, we could so dramatically reduce NMDA receptor activation demonstrates, for the first time, the tantalizing possibility that we may be able to develop new therapies that can much more effectively treat, or even one day prevent, some of these devastating diseases, like Alzheimer's and stroke," Popescu says.
And, because each type of NMDA receptor has a slightly different dimer interface, Popescu says, this finding represents a new opportunity for rationally designing drugs that would preferentially inhibit only a select population of NMDA receptors in the brain, thus reducing the possibility of side effects.
Currently, the Alzheimer's drug called Namenda, one of the only existing pharmaceuticals that inhibit the NMDA receptor, targets a different site within the receptor.
"If a new drug could be developed to target the dimer interface, which we discovered to be inhibitory, it would allow more specific effects than current drugs," Popescu said. "That's because at this particular interface, the interactions between these subunit interfaces are more precise than those currently being targeted."

Disclaimer: The information provided in this section is a public service of the American Health Assistance Foundation, and should not in any way substitute for the advice of a qualified healthcare professional, and is not intended to constitute medical advice. Although we take efforts to keep the medical information on our website updated, we cannot guarantee that the information on our website reflects the most up-to-date research. Please consult your physician for personalized medical advice; all medications and supplements should only be taken under medical supervision. The American Health Assistance Foundation does not endorse any medical product or therapy.
Some of the content in this section is adapted from other sources, which are clearly identified within each individual item of information.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Dr. Joseph Sivak's New Blog

I think I promised to list this. It is on my resource link now. You can click the title of this post and go there. I must first warn you as usual my frind Dr. Sivak, does not know how to keep things short. Well he is a phsch, but a nice person. Since he has one blob I Hate Alzheimer's and of course an auother I guess he thinks he need another blog, I guess it helps him, LORD knows he needs it.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Update on Tests - more doctor appointments.

Well after flunking my 2 hour glucose test with colors, we now have more blood tests we are waiting on, seems Alzheimer's and Frontal Temporal Dementia are not enough to have. We alll konw i cannot spell. have lost many brain cells. I am Bi Polar, I have toooooo much body, now I have Type II Diabetes, Yeah team more fricken meds. The Sleep DR. that did my sleep tests, has me scheduled for pulmenary tests thinks I might have COPD yeah, I will live to be 112 now, thanks a lot. You will love this, I have a motorized cushion to help get my well developed body off the couch into a standing position, yes modern technology to my aid. Still working on the wife to put an elevator in but boy she is stubborn.

I get brain fades now, use to call them brain farts, but then they only lasted a few seconds, these last longer thanb I can remember having them. I was fitted for a back brace to day because I have shrunk almost to grasshopper hieght, have spinal spinousious or something along those lines. The Golden Years that is what they call this, well I am on a hunt for the person that came up with that phrase, I intened to Golden Years all over that person.

At least I have all my body parts, some do not work right, but they are still there. Have all my own teeeth, ok some have crowns, but underneath the construction it is my tooth. I am lucky i still have my sense of humor good or bad (mostly bad) and still can talk with you my family. There are many with Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia that cannot or will not speak out, and that is ok. Because all of us with this disease will be set free each in our own time from this life. I for one can hardly wait.

Well you all be good, if not just do not name it after me.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

PS Pray for all those who are out there putting their lives on the line for all of us all over this World.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

What AAAAAAAHHHH RUUUUUSSSSHHH

Yesterday when I was younger, i wnt and had a large amount of blood taken for tests. Now I am a child of the night seeking out dinner.  I had a two hour glucose toleratnce test, WOW.  I was hungry as hell then they gave me the water to drink, filled with what tasted like sugar, but I am not sure what was in it. Well now I felt fine, they drew my blood at one hour and the world was ok, at the seceond and final hour the world was a bit different. I felt like i was as drunk as a skunk I could not walk without help. Funny how the floors and walls move by themselves. I truly was wasted have not felt like that in decades, nor do I want to again. Should get results within the week. Had to wait until today to catch you all up, yesterday just was a RUSH all day, no one wanted to leave me but everyone had to go somewhere, I ate alot and slept and by late evening I was in better shape. Today is ok, i just hurt all over, feel like i was used as a punching bag, i am big enoungh and well stuffed.

I still wonder why this disease is not working the same with me as others, it seems all the physical parts are rapidly come down, but although not fully functional, my brain seems to be somewhat alive. I do have problems doing complicated things, this is one of them, but there are times that things seem crystal clear, then they go to hell in a hand basket. Really drives me nuts. But Lynn in her loving and gentle way reminded me today that I never do anything the way I am suppose to. Marriage what a wonderful thing. Try it you may like it, I tried three times, until I was taught how to behave myself.

Stay well and take care of yourselves.  Love You All!

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Our Day of Rememberance.

I think the world knows what took place this day and I do not need to tell you.  What has gotten me of late are the emails telling me to Remember The Flag. To fly it today. See these are the folks that go to church on the holidays only.  I am an American, my Flag flies 365 days a year day and night (it is lit for the night). I have flown the Flag for over 20+ years on my home. This is my heritage the 200+ years of this Country. I pray for all those who put their lives on the line daily for all of us World Wide so we can live free.

Enough of the soap box, my days have been crapy lately, i am getting fitted for mobility movers so I can go out with the family. Also to help get my fat ass off the couch, you know a cushion that liftss you up gentteling and puts you in a standing position. Yes my mind still for some reason still works, but the physical parts of Alzheimrer's are rapiddlly taking over. Brain wanders a lot. For the most part I stay in, sleep at the drop of a hat, watch my fish clean their ponds, which just wears me out. Still get lost in the days though. Just like trying to post here, i sit down and just starrte at the screen and forget what the hell i am doing here. Oh well at least i still remember to breathe.

You all bne good to yourselves and stay well.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

PS the blessing includes all of you World Wide. I Forgot Dr. Sivak has a new blog when i find the emails i will post it.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

To Good Not To Pass On.


Subject: The truth about Dorothy
 
[]  Is 70 years old.

 
Today, if  Dorothy were to encounter Men  with no brains, no hearts,  and nocourage  -
 
She wouldn't be in Oz - 




 [] 



She'd  be in Congress.

From a friend made my day, hope you find the humor.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe
 
 

Monday, August 8, 2011

REM Behavioral Disorder and Dementia.

Why this topic? Well today I found out that I suffer from REM Behavioral Disorder and have for sometime, years. I am undergoing sleep study this Wednesday to find out how far it has progressed along with my sleep apnea and other stuff.  Found out today that this disorder has long been shown to be a precusor to dementia. My sleep Dr. is excited to make the study because it is not often he gets to deal with this.

What is it? Well apparently when i enter the REM stage of sleep i do a lot of twitching, jerking and as it progresses I get violent in my sleep. Poor Lynn has been the bearer of this action. However she has most of the time feels things starting and gets to me before, yes I start beating on anything in the bed including her. This is apparently what also helped me out of bed and on to the floor. So if you know anyone with this disorder maybe they should start talking now to a medical professional that has ears and maybe able to save them some rotten years ahead.

Alzheimer's and Frontal Temporal Dementia, have for runners apparently not just shrinkage, amaloyids and stroke or damage.  Have not seen any studies that I have found that show much about sleep disorders and dementia, really. They have touched on it, but I am not sure they have done any real serious in depth looking at the connection. They probably fall asleep anyway. 

Also found out today that my stature in life has shortened by 2¼", yes i have shrunk from a towering 5'83/4" to a colosal 5' 6½" inches. This i attribute to my kids they made me old, grey, short and fat. Till next time take care.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!
joe

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Alzheimer & Dementia Suffers NOW IS YOUR TIME TO SPEAK OUT!!!!!


The following is an email I received, we who suffer are being finally a real chance to speak out, i have submitttted the form, this could very well put a face and a real voice to this disease. I ask you to join me.



My name is Ashmi, and I’m on the Facebook Marketing team. I love your blog. 

For Alzheimer’s Awareness month in September, we are partnering with the
Alzheimer’s Association to help raise awareness.

We're collecting stories on the theme of how people with Alzheimer's use
Facebook to find strength and cope- through knowing that treasured memories,
photos, and conversations are preserved on Facebook. We're trying to raise
awareness about how people who are suffering can learn about coping with
Alzheimer's in the modern day - perhaps through Facebook as a place to revisit
and secure those memories and identities.

If you are interested in sharing your story with us on this topic, please let me
know. We’d love to raise awareness about Alzheimer’s. I created an online form
where you can tell your story: http://www.jotform.com/form/11850317172.

Please let me know,
Ashmi


God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!
joe

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Alzheimer's is relentless!

Well it has been awhile since last i was here. Things in my world are getting very disarrayed. I find i cannot even be sure of what time it is each day or exacty what i am doing. Alzheimer's is working hard and i am still being stubborn but it is winning this battle, in the end i win. Mly head hurts alot these days and i do not know why asprins do not help it just feels like someone or thingh is n my head squeexing everything together.  Well maybe that is good, keeps my brain cesll together. I am finding it more difficult to post or even to figure out why i am at the compute most days. I sit and stare at it alot but it does not say anuthing to me, damned thing. I am totallly lost on the days now and even almost completely unaware of when someone is or is not in the house, i think they have just gone and they just got home or never left. Very frustrating and i do not even want to think about it which has be a bit miffed over things. i am rambling time to go be good to yoursleves.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

PS, I guess things did not go well for Alan at Mt. Denali and he is off to number five now. I was told weather was realy dangeous on the mountain.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Let's welcome Dana and Her Family

Dana Kruckenberg  has a blog called Today's Project where she posts when she can about her husbands battle with Alzheimer's and how she copes with it. Visit Her and I know you will all welcome her and her family into our extended family for strength, guidance and hard reality.


God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Welcome to Our World Mr. Campbell.

Yes country singer star and legend as they say GLEN CAMPBELL has joined our ranks. It was announced sometime yesterday I think, that he is in the early stages, we know that means more like the mid, since they have no idea of what early onset really is.  I for one am sorry that he has it, but on the other hand I welcome him to Our World with Joy. See he is a star a person of importance, so I am sure he will start to get a lot a press about it and talked to.  But whatreally pisses me off is why it was announced: According to the news media Mrs. Campbell and Glen wanted to go public about it, now get this, SO THAT IF HE HAS TROUBLE ON STAGE HIS FANS WILL UNDERSTAND! Sorry folks i have said it before and will say it again money is what talks period. I am a fan of his and like his music, but sorry reason is way off base and bullshit. My Opinion. Just think how the rest of us are treated and regonized and the differrent treatment he will get.


God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Last week or so I had my annual physical, they are just a gas. Found out that I have blood, burned off some basil cell carsanomas, weight loss program, now the doc wants me to see a neurologist, just because my balance is that of a rolly polly bottom doll. The tremors and shakes are worse, have to hold the wall to walk right, had me place one foot in front of the other, sounds like a song, heel to toes and well like the gizallel that i am i almost fell. I have yet to contact one, what are they going to tell me I am unbalanced, hell i already know that. It will mean more tests, with or without and definitive answers and then a guess as to what meds i should get for it. When i drank i had no problem with falling, i just fell and got up no big deal. Now it seems to be a problem for others, just because one minute i am up and the next flat on my ass, so what, i am safer sitting anyways.

Lynn has gone back to work, no i am not alone, because people want to be paid, can you imagine such greed. I really do not like that she is not here. But i guess it is what it is. We have discussed her executing absolute power of attorney which we made awhile ago. I know longer trust my expert financial abilities, shit cannot even balance the check book right. Once upon atime i could do it in my head, now the blasted calculator cann't even get it right. Oh well life goes on.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!!
joe

Monday, May 30, 2011

To Our Heros!!!!

On this day here in the USA we pay National Tribute to our Fallen Military Heroes that have over the centuries an at present give Their All to keep us Free.  We also pay tribute to those who are still fighting for freedom. I also celebrate all those from all Countries that have and are dieing for their Countries freedom. Remember also many of them died to help keep us free as well as our troops did for them.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours (Yours as Well)!!!!!
joe

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Alzheimer's, The Blessings Of!!!!

I can hear you all now, joe is going on the rampage with this one. Well you are wrong. You all know the crap side and so do I, but you do not know the, morbid as it sounds, the blessings that come with this death sentence.
1. You know you are not nuts.
2. Death is no longer a fear.
3. You get to forget your resentments.
4. You no longer hate someone, because you forget them.
5. You meet new people daily.
6. You talk to stangers more frequently.
7. You do not have to be stylish in your dressing any longer.
8. You forget to tell people to fuck themselves, hence you may not swear as often.
9. If you smoke you make forget to or where you placed the things, spend all day looking for them and go to bed saying the hell with it, and never having smoked.
10. Nine could work for drinking.
11. Wake up each morning with a new woman or man in your bed, This One We All Like, even you.
12. Forget you annoying relatives and neighbors.
13. Forget to turn on the TV, but yet you watch it.
14. Have conversations with people who know what you are saying, but no one else can see them.
15. Forget you hate vegetables and even try them now.
16. Get to have some one else change your clothes, what fun that coould be.
17. Take a bath when you damned well feel like or think you may need one.
18. Won't discuss the toliet training that you forgot, you caregivers might not find that so enjoyable.
19. Your new eating habits that help you loose wieght, no 20.00 for 20lbs., you just forget what food is for.
20. One day the World and all of its' Bullshit suddenly stop for you.

See we have to look at the bright side once and awhile. So I am sick, I am allowed, brain confussion, cannot seem to find the darn thing.  Have fun, be good to yourselves.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!!!
joe

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Alzheimer's Folk Do Not Want To Talk About It!!!!

This is actuaaly about denial this post. I read on caregiver sites, other blogs and comments on mine, "how do I get mom or dad to admit they have Alzheimer's, they are in denial".

Well my point of view, you just don't. What is the big deal if they say Yes dam it I have Alzheimer's. Does that validate YOU in some way. Frick they know something is wrong, wake up. Your job as their caregiver is TO BE THEIR FOR THEM, not to make them agree to having Alzheimer's. We know we have a problem and it will get worse.

Yes I am yelling at you. Imagine yourself being handed a DEATH SENTENCE, that is what Alzheimer's is. Would You go around skipping down the street saying oh goody I have Alzheimer's; or do you think you just might keep your mouth shut and go about your business the best you could? That is what I choose to do and many folks that I know that have the disease have choosen to do. But I tell you on this blog what is happening to me so you get some insight into our world of frustration, terror and brain fog. I do not know how everyone feels, but i do not consider myself any more important than anyone else with this disease, we walk together.

Forget whether your patient, loved one, etc. accepts or talks about having Alzheimer's. They have it, is not that enough said? Help them do not hoover and smother them, be there and not in their face. As you can tell this denial shit getss to me, because I wonder who really is in denial, the person with the disease or the person saying that one is in denial.

Enough of my ranting.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe