Monday, June 16, 2008

A Loss In My Life Today.

I am not sure if on my blog I ever mentiioned my son that I had long before I got married and he and his mother disappeared. I found them two or so years ago I think, well me and my family have tried to bring him into the other side of his world, today he made it clear that was not going to happen. So my heart is heavy and sad, but I lost him once not by my choice, now by his. I truly hope this fuckin disease takes a greater hold soon. Sounds selfish butt I want to mobve faster and get rid of the memmories and pain. Sometimes it is too much trying to live between these two worlds, I feel trapped and torn, not knowing exactly where I am or why I am. Good days and bad ones, where is the balance not with me that is for sure.I used to take Aricept and Namenda and both did nothing for me. They are hopefully supposedly to aid in slowing down the memory loss, right. Even the manufacturers do not know if they will work for sure, some good stuff. I have heard from folks who have taken these drugs and their stories range from miraculous results (i thik they were on something else) to folks that got violently ill from themm and everything in between. Me nothing just a waiste on money, so much for today,hope to meet you on the other side.

I still have demented humor, and love it.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!