Showing posts with label forgotten. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forgotten. Show all posts

Saturday, May 7, 2011

What price Alzheimer's

Many of you have lost loved ones to this disease, mothers, fathers, grandparents, friends, siblings and this list goes on. Mother's Day is tomorrow and to all Mother's long gone, still with us and to be, I wish you the happiest of times.

This is only one cost of the Disease, the losss of a loved one. Just think how we feel as we loose the loved one that we care about so greatly, ourself. Sounds selfish, but it is a reality. The other day to me it was just yesterday, because there is only today and yesterday for me, I walked into the "OFFICE", doe not everyone have to have one in their howse. A bedroom with a comuter in it, WOW. Anyway i walked in and the next i knew my wife was in helping me get up off the floor. See this 700 pound pigeon, does not remember how to fly to well. I bet i wennt down with grace, style and diginity and a thud. problem is not remembering what took place, one minute i am standing the next on the floor like a beached whale. I know this is only part of the disease and what is to come, but it is taking longer to get up and the aches take longe to leave and some now stay, they found a home. Good thing I drank heavily in my twenties, I learned how to fall and get back up. So I guess we are born we grow and start to return to our original days.
The more i look at this disease the more I feel it is auto immune in nature. I notice our Alzheimer's Organization here in the states touts the stars who have parents or sweethearts who have parents with the disease as being such brave soles and all the work they do for Alzheimer's. I say stick it up your ass you do nothing for us. At least Canada has speakers at meetings with the disease so that the true story comes out. I know I have a couple of friends up their speading the word at AD meetings by the Alzheimers Assoc. of Canada. Kudos to you folks.  Here forget it. See personal experience has shown me the nature of their commitmennt.  The San Diego Chapter, visited me the wife would remember when, it was shortly after the Walk here in Oceanside, I think. They met to discuss my book, the lady was very nice as i remember and felt that my story needed to be told and by me and that i would be of greqat service, i was even asked if i would be willing to speak and help, well I said yes. gave them books for their lending library. They would be in touch I was told, the bullshit put off statement. Well they went to the state capital for getting things done, i was asked originally if I would go, yes, however time came and pass and so did their silence. I get emails to help support them. I think not, you can have as much support from me as you have given me.  The Alzheimer's Disease Reasearch Foundation gets my help they at least are doing things.
Had to get this off my chest. It has been burning my ass for a long time now. Many good people work and volunteer for the Alz.org,, but the whole does not even come close to equalling the parts.
I have noticed lately that ai seem to be going away, that is the best way i can say it, seems like me and that around me are starting to part ways more and more each day.
I am rambling on so I will say so long for the time being.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!
joe

Friday, January 21, 2011

Hears a thought

How many caregivers out there ask the person they are caring for "How do you feel about having this?" Or "How do you feel when you can't remember?" I know Joe has communicated to me and has been trying to do the same with all of the readers he has. It is a tough concept to ask thses types of questions. What Joe has been trying to communicate is that there is alot of fear with this disease. He has sat down to eat dinner and forgotten what it is he is doing and how to do it. He is scared of the person sitting next to him even though he has known that person forever. We do not go out alot because he is afraid to go past the edge of the property because he may not come back. This has made a man who would willing take on the South Side of Chicago to do his job, someone who jumps when I walk up next to him. What we take for granted the pepole who have this disease no longer can. Joe mentioned that I had taken a job as a caregiver. I was taking care of a perfectly sweet couple who both had AD. Everyday while I was there we had the same discussions. "Where is my car?" "Why can't I go to the bank?" "It is not fun getting old because you get no respect from anyone." I was sorry when I decided that I could no longer work for this company because I will miss the couple. Try listening to your client, loved one, neighbor. They are trying to say hear me but most of the time can't.
This is what Joe wants on the TV shows, and the newspapers, and the articles that are written about the disease. We all know that there are people dying and we know the medical field is working on a cure for a disease that they don't know how it starts. I have never heard of brain cells regenerating. But then I don't have a degree.
This is the story that needs to be told.
And if it sounds like he is kvechting so be it send him some cheese and crackers. He'll love it.
Lynn

Monday, November 1, 2010

An Email From a Friend.......

As many of you know from time to time I share emails with permission. This is one I got just recently. You all seem to be amazed that even advancing in this fricken disease I can still communicate. I want you to know that all of us with AD or other forms of dementia are not always stumbling, bumbling and drooling people. Some to the end, not many still reamin mentally strong, maybe not physically but one cannot have everything. Also this email may give you a hint of why I take no meds for AD, just mood stabilizers, the shit does not work if that helps.**************
Dear Joe and Lynn,

Thank you again for your response...these letters and blogs must keep you both very busy...I don't know how Joe still does it, but thank you from the bottom of my heart. My father suffered from AD silently...we did not know what he was thinking or feeling...he tried to live life as if he didn't have the disease, including not talking about it. The only glimpses we had were his physical struggles, his hallucinations, and listening to his frustrations...we had to try to fill in ourselves what was going on in his head. Joe, you have no idea how much your shared words help us understand what you are feeling or experiencing or thinking...more than you know. I wish my father could have expressed what he was experiencing, but he didn't, so I am learning from you.

I just checked into your blog...I am sorry to say that I haven't been able to keep up with it regularly (due to restricted internet access), but every time I visit your page, it brings tears to my eyes...I am just filled up with sentimental emotion on how much you share, and your struggles doing it, and your struggles with the disease...thank you for all the work you put in. I am amazed at how articulate you still are at this stage.

I am so happy you published a book!!!! That's great.

I unfortunately could not find the memorial link on your page...I must be overlooking it. But I would love to send you the information on my father, and a photo. I will let my mother know.

I was also thrilled to hear that you are doing the Memory walk in Oceanside. Before I knew that, I was going to e-mail and ask if you and/or your family if you and they might be interested because I want to do it too. But I have to get my butt in gear to sign up and send out the e-mails. My mother did the walk in Florida about a week or two ago. I'll honor my father with a team bearing his name; however, I do not have family here, so unless friends join me (and they might), I might be a team of one. I would be honored to walk with you and Lynn if you like. It sounds like you might not have many walking with you, so if you and Lynn need any help at all, I would be happy and honored to help. I helped give care to my father until he passed.

This is getting long for you to read, so I will sign off. If you want to put any of this last response on your blog, you have my permission.

God bless you all (and my father would have agreed with Joe on "...and this great country of ours")

Cheryl

________________________________
God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!!
joe
PS Cheryl has no real idea what emails and comments from you folks really mean to me. They keep me wanting to post, even though I feel no one really gives a shit.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Posting Elsewhere

Yes I have been answering some posts on a site called Caring.Com, yes for so called experts and in my opinion some real whiny caregivers, but a good place for most of you to go for your help and discussion needs. Links will be on the side of my blog after this posting.
You all know how direct I am, so expect to be, being asked not to post anymore. I have not held back anything in my postings, to so called experts and the poor little itsy bitsy caregivers. Wine, need crackers & cheese. Come on this side of the fence, we have nowhere to go to escape except when we DIE, You can tell the discussion I got in really pissed me off. But that is the way it is.  I doubt how long I will still be able to post, we are entering that wild downward ride side. I loose people in conversations and sit idle at the dinner table so I am told and frankly I no longer remember yesterday, let alone this morning.
Till next tirade be good to yourselves and check the new links.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Last Night

Last night I found myself in very difficult and not likeable sitution.  It was a rough day for me as it was. We sat down for dinner and I put my food on my plate and completely froze. I had no idea what I was doing or what to do, my wife tired to help put I just told her leave me, she put my fork in my hand and it just fel from it, I was in a state of, in betweenness, between here and there. I finally started eating but with my fingers and slowly got back to where I should be. I am about 4 or so years into this and it is taking hold now as it seems to do about this time.

Now I am a beginning to become really concerned and not so humorous, but life will go on and so will I. I guess that line of no return is getting closer and sneakier about things.

Well that is it for now from: us here in Oceanside, CA.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Messing Up

I have been making some changes, and probably should have had someone else make them. A few things have disappeared and others moved to second page with everything else.  Eventuallly I hope this will all get fixed right.

The skype call button now works after months of well disconnect. See they require you put in your correct user name, can you believe that. So finally I RTFM'd (back in my computer days that meant Read The Fucking Manual), and found I forgot a (.) period in my user name. So if you have tryed without success, it seems to be working now.

Hope to have thr rest of the mes cleaned up soon. Brain cell is getting overloaded.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
joe

Thursday, April 22, 2010

My Husband

Well now that I have been on the guilt trip for not blogging on his site I will explain why. Even tho I am a Leo I don't do a lot of roaring. Only when it counts like protecting my family or friends. For the most part I am a real pussycat. So you wonder how in the world I managed to survive 30 years with this man. So am I. He is a tyrant when it comes to having things his way. Always has been and probably will be till the end. But he is also a very loyal and loving friend. He is my best friend. He would fight for me. Since we have started this trip with his medical problems it has not been easy. Lately he is stubborn, mean, forgetful and just not with the rest of us. I have asked him questions and then he walks away without answering them. Or he will say something about me nagging him and getting rid of wives that nag him. Nagging consists of asking him what he wants to do on any given day.
So those of you out there taking care of a spouse or loved one just remember that we do it for love because who else is going to do it. Me, I tell him I am in it for the money now. So he should probably go back to work and earn some.
It is not easy and it will only get harder. But we are in it for the long haul. For those who can't stand up to the pressure do not feel bad. This world is not for everybody and the quality of care is more important than who gives it.
Take care
Lynn

I

Monday, April 19, 2010

The Gift of Alhziemer's!

Yes I know what gift? You need to have the disease to understand. See because of this blasted thing, I learned something today that I did not know, even with it starring me right in the kisser. I was reading over some emails I got because of the HBO Documenttary.

It brought people I knew from over 50 years ago back into my life. Of course they had to tell me how, when, why, etc., before the old noodle could grasp it. This may get long and run in circles, but what the hell, if I can run in them so can you.

You see I wanted most of all to be a good husband, lover, friend, father and someone the Lord would be proud to call his child. Well I feld very badly in my own mind and soul. So as I re read an email from my first girlfriend, the only one nuts enough to date me, Cheryl, I really realized how fortunate I am to have AD. You see, I have invited her to guest blog, but no response, what an asset to this site she would be. Now remember she dated me (poor lady), her mom has AD and Cheryl works for The Alz. Org. in Colorado what a wealth of help.  But more than that, after we broke ups I had 16 years of a real messed up life.  So you understand and I am not sure I do, she was about 5'6"  115#, brown hair, brown eyes and nicely, well very pleasant to look at, not what a memory, she sent me a picture from that time, and a Leo. I always felt comfortable with her, but life goes on and people (me) screw up alot.  What does that matter to you or me, well I just described my wife of over 30 years. Now she is stuck with an AD patient and she is a Leo to, and I have asked her to post, but you know these lions the roar, but are really just pussy cats. Because of this and the special I have found that my family was my career and Mr. How Smart Am I, was not even aware of it. Cheryl and the rest of you have shown me that and I am well pleased inside.

Still confused and not sure what I will do from moment to moment but I am having quiet an adventure, and sometimes it is pretty rotten. Just spent a week isolated to my self and not really talking to anyone, without being short and less than Kind. I find that, at least i do, just wip back without concern of what I am saying. From those I tak with that have this disease seem to do that alot to. Well enough of me for now. Be good and take care of yourselves.

God Bless You & Keep You & This Country of Ours! (The World Needs Him To)
joe

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Days Lost.

First to AJ if you read this you have my permission to use any part of my blog you wish, with the exception of the In Memory of Photos. I do not have permission to allow that. My stuff have at it pictures, posts, etc.

I am starting to loose more and more days and time. I am feeling a sense of loss in my life now more than I did when I started this journey.It confuses me, for a period I am normal and can do anything I know where I am and then someone comes along and turns the lights out. I guess this is the way it goes and will continue until. I hear from folks how well I am handling this, and how great the HBO special was, etc. I am not that person anymore, he disappeared almost 2 years ago when the filming was done, at least I think it was that long ago. It is more difficult to concetrate on writtting these posts now, probabbly why I am not doing so much anymore.

Well the best5 to all of you.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
joe

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Better Late Than Never.

I know I am a day late and a dollar short but; HAPPY NEW YEARS TO YOU ALL. I want to thank all of you that have followed my blog, sent me coments, emails, good and thos not so. Even the ones I had to have interpreted for me or replying with , WHAT? See you need to keep it simple and clear for me, my one time brain cell hsa shrunk to about ¼ of its size this past year.

My family and I hope and wish all the best for you and yours in the coming New Year and years to come.

For me 2006 was not as good as 2005, 2007 got a little worse, 2008 things got on the move, and last year 2009 this disease reallly started to make itself known. So things being what they are I would imagine 2010 is going to be interesting as I trudge this happy road of Alhzeimer's and FTD.

For now take care catch you on the other side.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
Joe

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Alhzeimer's & Marriage

I received a comment from a gentleman whose wife has early stage AD. It seems this has affected his marriage quite a bit. Trust me that is an understatement, it has litterally screwed mine up. I have asked my wife to post her side on the blog, but she is reluctant for whatever reasons.

I know that she has one heck of a time with me, I am extremely moody at times, I get lost in conversations and I go off elsewhere in my mind on a dime. The other day we were talking and as usually Mr. Brilliant here got lost and could not even get a word out, the wife answered for me and was right. Her words to me were "Aren't you glad I know you?" my reply was yes someone has to because I do not know me anymore. This is starting to get scarey now. I have been going to post for the last couple of days, just does not happen. It certainly has messed up our sex life, I cannot even keep things going, because my mind suddenly goes off to War, or the Circus or some such fuckin thing and I am no longer involved in the situation or I just plain fall asleep.

I cannot even imagine how my commentor or my wife feel. I am not even sure how I feel at any given moment. At times I am on my game and then there is no game I have lost my processes and cannot get back. Yes I can write because I can stop and come back and start over, but in my real world it just does not work that way.

To my friend I am truly sorry for your situation, I will not say Hey it is ok it will be fine, because the truth is it will not get better only worse. I do hope the Lord continures to give you the strength you need for each day, we are a hand full.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
Joe

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Who & What Am I Becoming?

There once was a tmie I could answer that but not anylonger. I have for the last several months porued myself into trying to start some things for the family to help make their financial future better. However, I remember the comment I made in the HBO thing, Once I was a genius, now I'm not. How true, it seems that once what I touched I mad work and well, now it goes to hell in a hand basket. My thoughts seem to be of the same charge and push each other out of the way, leaving avoid for confusion. That is the disease at work and having a good time of it. I find myself much more pissy and angry now, but I try to keeep the old trap shut and carry it alone. I am beginning to understand why we in this World of Ours, just sit alot and say nothing or just wander. We no longer have a grasp on things, what is real is it, I don't know any longer. I do not want to say things to family and friends because I don't want the constant hovering or them walikng on eggs. Frankly i do not know what I want, who I really am, where I have been or am going. Things from the past seem to be from yesterday and yesetrday seems to be the past. I feel truly helpless for the first time in my life. Where do we go from here? Down the tunnel.

God Bless,
Joe

Monday, May 18, 2009

I Do Not Go Away - Google.

I sure many thougt I would not follow up on my distain with Google, but I have a very angry side to me, especially when being called a thief. Years ago maybe, now no way. So here is to google, using spell & grammar checker so they could understand. Also, no answer from them yet. No balls I guess.



April 28, 2009

Mr. Eric Schmidt
Chairman of the Board & Chief Executive Officer
Google
1600 Amphitheatre Pkwy.
Mountain View, CA 94043

Dear Mr. Schmidt:

I am sure that you maybe wondering why there is a check for $0.81 attached to this letter.

Well there is a good reason for that, I do not appreciate being basically called a thief and a purveyor of illegal intent of taking funds from anyone. This blood money is repayment for what I was paid by Google Ad sense, because someone unknown to me was clicking on the ads on my blog. I presume from the insulting email I received from your outfit, they were not justified. I appealed, since I did not even know that I was to get paid, and basically as far as I am concerned was called a liar and complicter by your staff.

You see I suffer from Alzheimer’s and Frontal Temporal Lobe Dementia. I have a blog located at http://living-with-alzheimers.blogspot.com/. On this site I tell of how the disease affects me and how I cope with it. I started it to help caregivers, physicians and those whose loved ones suffer from the disease, what it is like in Our World. Maybe in a small way giving them some comfort as to how it is not their fault and that they could do very little.

I thought Adsense would be good, because it listed sites and places for people to go on my blog as well as in the posting. The ads were pertinent to the blog and entries. This was my whole thrust. But YOUR PEOPLE, I guess felt I was just trying to steal from you. So hence I return the $0.81 to you, I would not want your firm to suffer any financial hardship over this, or your dog not be able to eat because of it.

As a point of interest, The Wall Street Journal thought enough of me and my integrity to feature my blog in the paper. HBO Media also has honored me by including me in their The Alzheimer’s Project, which airs in May 2009. By the way you can find the information on Google.

I remain,
Joseph Potocny

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

WOW TO HBO, JUST WOW!

Last night and I need to do this while it is still fresh or atleast somewhat fresh in my brain, my Wife & I had the privilege of seeing the premier screeening in LA of the first part of the HBO series The Alzhiemers Project. What a job they did. I am humbled that I was a part of this movie. It truly shows a side that few people know about for thoose that live in this World of Mine, with me. It was done with style, grace, compassion and an understanding of what we go through.

AGAIN WOW!!!! Thank You for asking me to be a part of it.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!

Monday, April 20, 2009

speaking my mind????


The littttle one is my one granddaughter Lillian. You know I am finding it more and more diffficult to maintain images in my mind of those I once knew and loved and even those that I care about and love now. A feeling of urgency is starting to take hold in my life. What it means I do not know. All final arragnements have been made and paid for, so that is not a concern any longer. I do not want to be around people much anymore, it is gettinng harder to tolerate them, I am sure I am no prize either now, probably neverr was. At first I told this disease of mine, that you may win, but you will know you have been in one hell of a fricken fight. Seems I am the one with the wounds and they don't heal or go away. Well soo much for my rambling.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
joe

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Mark Your Calendars - 5/10/2009

On this date HBO will start the firsst in a 4 part series on Alzhiemers. As you know I prefer to call it dementia. As the council on aging testified in March to Congress, THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT EVEN CAUSES IT. Yet they feel thaat with the right structure and funds there could be the possibility of delaying its onset. It is finnally being recognized and called a disease and not just of the aged. Maria Schiver gave a moving talk, but the gentleman from Florida much more touch me with the story of his wife diagnosed at 55, about 65 now I am guessing no longer remembers him and the pain of it. He also talked about those who are not wealthy like Maria, face challenges of care that she can afford. I am not taking things from her, the devestation of her father is real and painful for the family. But I still do not believe the caregivers truly understand the pain and frustration and anger of it in this World. You go along ok for awhile. Then you fall down a part of the stairs. You go to get back up the stairs, but no way, they are gone lost forever and so has part of yourlife and who you are disappeared. Epedemic they call it, try PANDEMIC, with more than 10 million in this country alone suffering. These people did state a real truth, when you have seen one case of AD, you have seen just one case. We all progress differently. And as they said 'YOU WILL NOT SEE ANY SURVIVORS OF AD WALKING AROUND". THERE ARE NONE!!!!!!! Welcom eo My World

I have got nasty lately on my blog and truly do not care, it is part of wo and what I amm becoming. BUT I AM PROUD TO SAY THAT I AM PART OF THE DOCUMENTARY THAT WILL BE SHOWN ON HBO IN MAY. I thank them for having the balls to truly attack this head on. KUDOS HBO.

If science has or ever gets the courage to take live brain cels so they can truly start to find out how this plague works, I AM READY AND WILLING TO LET THEM GO AT MY BRAIN, it is becoming of smaller and smaller value to me.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
joe

Friday, October 24, 2008

Only Us With AD & The Likes Would Think of This!

an email that was forwarded to me. my life in a nutshell.

AAADD
KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....


PLEASE READ

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better even though I have it.

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I l ook over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,
since I'm going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Pepsi aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye--they nee d water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
the car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't f ind the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail....

Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I don't remember who the hell I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming

By the way don't forget to VOTE!

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
joe

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Where is Yesterday?

It is beocming harder each day to remember yesterday, let alone try today, even this monring. Here we are mid October per the calendar and I am somewere in September. I feel like I am altogether but I am totallly confused as to what to do next. This is not fun. But it is the hand I was dealt so I play the cards and see what they do and try to understand them. The new meds seem to help the pains in the chest and the sweating whrn walking or doing some work. So I gues complaining is just whimpy on my part. I wish I had the words to discribe what it is like to be in this World that I and others like me live in. It reallly sucks. First you know then you forget and then you do not remember forgetting what it was that you knew. If tha makes no sense to you ok, but it does to me. My frustration with others is growing and I go off more quickly then usual. I started this today with my thoughts all together and now they are some where in space and time. Did use postit notes but I found I did not read them or kept doing them over and over, now who knows what works. My brain sure does not know and many times I just don't give a damn, it is to hard to put the thoughts together. It is easier to just leave the old grey matter alone. Till next time.

God Bless You and This County Of Ours!
joe

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Lost in Time!

Wow here it is amlost the midlddle of September, where have I been. It seems like as each day passes I become less and less aware of the day, date, week, month or the time. It is all seemilgy running together. It is like today is almost a repeat of yesterday. I now have problems with some of my conversations, my tongue seems to get in the way and I get all screwed up in what I am saying, so I gust wave my hands and say latter. Which of course latter does not come because I for get what I was saying in the first place. It seems to be this whole time affect first forward then backwards, drives me nuts (that is a short drive). I find that i get more irritable as time goes on, I try to handle it but well sometimes that is just the way things happen. I did not even realise that we were this far into this mont. Halloween will be here and I will not know it, except for the candy and the tricker treators. Well I guess I will go do something, probably something of no importance, but it will be something I think.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!
Joe

Monday, August 25, 2008

My Life Today

Lately i have not told how I feel and what is happening. So, I feel like shit, the affects of this disease are catching up. I cannot be out walking and such for more than ½ hour or I feel like I am about to leave this pldace. I find converstions more and more difficult, unless I am truly angry or extremely focused on one point. Any distratction and I am lost.It is difclut I know for others to understand how hard it can be to hold a conversation, they are draining and hurt. My trembling is worse, my head spins when I turn in, hitting the ground is quiet annoying and becoming uncofortbale. Forgetting in the midle of something I am doing really ticks me off to know end, because I cannot get back to where I was, it is just plain gone. I just hope this blog helps someone.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!
joe