GOD, WHY?

You know I have asked the above question all of my life. Not just since I have gotten AD & FTD, to be sure they have not helped the situation. The question is not what you think, GOD WHY ME? No not at all. Most of my life has been screwed up, probably mostly my own fault, except my early childhood, did I have one, no I live in a house of hell part of Satans spawn. At least with the dementia some of it is leaving me now. You should see my wife as she tries to stop me from falling off the courch or the bed. It is hard to stop a rolling whale. I ask mostly, GOD WHY AM I ALIVE & WHY WAS I BORN? Looking over me and my life there is nothing special about me nor do I seem to have contributed much to this life, taken oh yes.Now my thoughts get mixed between yesterday, today and whatever comes into this brain of mush that I have. It is starting to get a bit touchier, I look at those I should know and wonder who the f&*^ is that, and it is my wife or one of the kids. I have moments that I feel perfectly "normal" (do not think I ever was that), and all of a sudden everything goes to helll in a hand basket and I have no idea what I am doing, why I am doing it or where. I spend little time doing things I used to. I start, forget and then wind up somewhere else doing something different or just sitting wondering WHY? Well enough out of me.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
Joe

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While I still Can Think

Today has knowt been wone of mey better days. Have been angry and frustratied. Some have felt that today, even my granddaughter. Soon my optometrist will feeel it, taking over 5 week for lenses. I have no patient left with waht if feel in incompentency or out right stupidness. I should talk, cant even spel right or thing straing anymore. But take your meds you will be okd BS. These tiny slices are killing me, mly emotions, I have no controolll over anymore, no matter how hard I try. This disease sucks big time. The hell of it is our people in congress and the white house give a shit. It isn't a minority issue. WElll soon it will be a vast majority issue as they and theirs begein to suffer the ravages. As nasty as this sounds, I can hardly wait for them to join me. When it is to late to do anything, and alll they can do is say "If only I had listened".

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