Showing posts with label articles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label articles. Show all posts

Thursday, September 30, 2010

TO BE CONTINUED-------------

Well I am back today. Hope you all are well.  My day is a bit foggy and slow, but that is how things go. It is cool and rainy here, rain part very unusual for us, but welcomed.

Now tehn since you have wiated with great anticipation, pounding hearts and sweaty palms here is what is going on. First can you guess why the title to this post? Bet your wrong.

Living With Alzhiemer's (A Conversation if You Will), is in the process of being published. All of you have made this possible and have contributed in one way or another to it. Hopefully it will be out before xmas 2355, you know how slow and forgetful I can get. The Book as it is called, is not a novel or such, it is our conversation we have had over the last 4 years I think. Completely unedited and to the point. Yes it is this blog in print, comments and all, except the side materials as they appear.

So to you all Thank You, for your support, caring, sharing and just being there as I make this journey.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

New Link Added

First let me say that if you have not tried Google Chrome, you might want to, much faster.

I have added a link to the Beijing Tiantun Puhua Hospital today. This may seem strange to you, but I figure if they can use this blog as a source for them in China, least I could do was add them to my links. They contacted me, let me say that kind of took my socks off.

I needed their contact, the last couple of days have been very uncomfortable and less then memorable and they made my day. It has been difficult to know where I have been, but I know I have not been with my family or my own brain, but that is life with AD and any dementia.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Days Lost.

First to AJ if you read this you have my permission to use any part of my blog you wish, with the exception of the In Memory of Photos. I do not have permission to allow that. My stuff have at it pictures, posts, etc.

I am starting to loose more and more days and time. I am feeling a sense of loss in my life now more than I did when I started this journey.It confuses me, for a period I am normal and can do anything I know where I am and then someone comes along and turns the lights out. I guess this is the way it goes and will continue until. I hear from folks how well I am handling this, and how great the HBO special was, etc. I am not that person anymore, he disappeared almost 2 years ago when the filming was done, at least I think it was that long ago. It is more difficult to concetrate on writtting these posts now, probabbly why I am not doing so much anymore.

Well the best5 to all of you.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
joe

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Something Different From Me

Yes a big HELLO to you all. I wish to thnak all of you who write to me. And those of you whose blogs I have listed although I may not leave comments I do read them in the back office of my blog, where I constantly recieve your updates,. This morning is calm for me, feels strange. But it is like the weather wait a minute things will change, so I though I would get this off now. Your sharing of your troubles with your loved ones brings a sense of calmness to me at times. See it is nice to know (unfortunately), that I am not alone out here. I want to say thank you for being there for me, it truly helps. You know you can comment however you chose, good, bad, rotten, ugly, beautiful, your choisce but remember I do not edit comments and they get posted as written. That is how I post and you deserve the same.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
Joe

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Through The Fog Comes Anger.

I have beeen reaing some of the blogs I follow this morning, which I can do from inside my blog. I get disturbed easily, especially by those in the "Medical Practice" and what they try to push. These are the very people (not necessarily the ones I read) that have told somany that live with me in theis World of Mine, that we were ok, just anxious, depressed and absent minded. See we did not fit in their fuckin little box, we did not adhere to pages 89-101 so we could not have any form of dementia. Now some of them have joined us in this world of ours and are bitching that people say they cann't have it because, THE BOX, is square not distorted. Mean this may sound but, you diserve to hear that crap your profession spit out at me and thousands like me. I make no appologies for letting you know how I feel, you see my life is worth just as muchas yours and I am loosing it more and more each day. It is harder for me to talk, walk and maintain train of thought in a conversation. I even forget who the people are around me more now. Probably by this time next year, if I am still around, my body will be here, but I will not. Alhziemers is doing its job on me and having a good time at it.
I saw a youtube asking fatso Oprah to help. This woman is only interested in her money and famous friends that may have this disease or know someone that does, than she does a show on it. It just discusts me to beg such people. It is us who do these blogs and what HBO did for us that is going to make the difference. Yeah the baby boomers are getting worried, WHY?, because a whole hell of alot of them are starting and will joine us here in the World of Forgetfullness. Where we these people when we cried out for help, toooo busy to hear us.
Wait till you look at your wife or children and have no idea why these people are in your house and what the hell do they want. Then the old mind comes back and you know you left, you want terror there it is. Come walk with me in my World and see how brown the grass is.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!!!SmileyCentral.comSmileyCentral.com
joe

Monday, August 25, 2008

My Life Today

Lately i have not told how I feel and what is happening. So, I feel like shit, the affects of this disease are catching up. I cannot be out walking and such for more than ½ hour or I feel like I am about to leave this pldace. I find converstions more and more difficult, unless I am truly angry or extremely focused on one point. Any distratction and I am lost.It is difclut I know for others to understand how hard it can be to hold a conversation, they are draining and hurt. My trembling is worse, my head spins when I turn in, hitting the ground is quiet annoying and becoming uncofortbale. Forgetting in the midle of something I am doing really ticks me off to know end, because I cannot get back to where I was, it is just plain gone. I just hope this blog helps someone.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!
joe

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Howdy


It has been awhile since I posted, I sit down in fromt of this thing to do it and that is wehere it ends.I have been in sort of a place that I am not famliar with, don't ask where because I do not know. Physically I am starting to suffer more of the progress of this wonderfulo disease. It is begning to scare me more now. I stand in the house, and wonder where the hell I am. After awhile I lie down on the couch or whatever and go to sleep and the hours go away. So does the confusion and mystery fo what things are. I feel more lonely in theis World of Mine now even when people are areound me. Sometimes waking up and seeing my wife next to me scares the living (&(&^^ out of me because I am not sure who she is. Then the brain kicks in a all is well. I tire quickly and fall alot now, I guess that old Ford has caught up to me and passed me by.

I used to wonder what tomorrow would bring, now I am not sure about the rest of today. I do this for you who care for those like me so you know why we act the way we do and it has nothing to do with you, it is us.

God Bless You and this Country of Ours!
Joe

Friday, May 2, 2008

New Technology for The Eye

Do you suffer from myopia (near-sightedness), hyperopia (long-sightedness), presbyopia, astigmatism, computer vision syndrome or cataracts? Well now that is quite a question isn't it? I am using spell checker (as you know it is something I do not do). I was approached by a site http://www.pinhole-glasess-direct.com/ to view their site and give my opinion of the site and I would presume the product. They think I have a unique writting style, poor souls. Well what follows is my view only and not an endorsement of the product, remember that.

Pinhole-glasses are glasses that have laser (precised) cut holes in them on what appears to be a non clear plastic. Could be wrong there. You need to know that these glasses are for stationary use only. Bull riding, cow punching, climbing Mt. Everest or driving the Indy 500 are out. They are made for those folks who suffer from the question I started with, which is directly from their web site. The site makes a valiant attempt at describing the conditions and how their product works. It is pretty simple and straight forward. Even I understood most of it, of course it took me a number of hours reading it to get through it. But that was so I could write this and be fair to them. On awhole I think the product sounds good and probably, if the claims are accurate, benefit people like me who have 2000 pairs of classes because their eyes are worth not a heck of alot. See I am far, near, close and every which way sighted. Blind in one eye and cannot see out of the other. So how can I type this if I cannot see, blessed with powers beyond your belief, I look at the keys while I type.

The site is easy to manuever through and not trying to sell SNAKE OIL for 19.95 + if you order right now you get twice the amount, but wait I am not through, you order in the next 10 minutes we will add these special 10 scrubbing pads, breathing mask and Dr. Watchmacall its' famous toe remedy. I would preferr the site to be more colorfull, but you see I live in a world of color, no white walls in my house buddy (they would blend in and I would walk into them).

Check the site out let them know what you think. In fact let me know. You can leave comments right on this post (the best way) or use the email form on the side, which I never publish what is said in it. I have not bought a pair, not sure I will, and if I should, I would tell you exactly what I think of them. Good, bad or otherwise.

Well my brain hurts and I have had a few bad days so I will say goodbye for the day and when I remember I will return.

God Bless You and Our Country!
Joe

Monday, April 14, 2008

Creating Memories in The Mist

As many of you that read my blog know how I feeel about leaving my grandchildren with found memories and not those to come. Welll my eldest and her two kids have ben with us during moving, unfotunately my other two in WA have not been My grandson likes to hide behiind the couch and table and rub my hair while I try to grab his hand he is 2 and it is a game. Both him and my granddaughter help me get off the couch and want to play. This old guy doesn't last long at though, but it is form them and the joy I do get. My granddaughter is starting I feel to understand that somethiing is wrong with grandpa, but she isn't sure what it is. Even with the bad days and not remembering, I am doing my best to be happy and enjoy what time I have left. What the hell that was the Drs. prescription. I am happy most of the time and I think it is because I have accepted what awaits me and I know longer fear it or care when the line is crossed, my granddaughter is sitting with me while I write this old motor mouth. WE that suffer from various forms of dementia can live and enjoy the time we have, crap why not, we are going to forget the pain and sorrow of before so go out dancing. I weap more for those around me, because they have to watch from the otherside, see I soon forget and get lost in the conversssations and what is happening quiet often. So my sorrow is momentary. My wife shakes her head at me as we walk through the grocery store and I sing songs I make up so everone can hear, some are very colorful and I talk to everyone. Till nex time:
God Bless,
Joe

From a Fellow Suffer to YOU Who Care For Us

Alzheimer's Prayer

Dear Lord,
Please grant my visitors tolerance for my confusion,
Forgiveness for my irrationality and the strength
To walk with me into the mist of memory
My world has become.

Please let them take my hand and stay awhile,
Even though I seem unaware of their presence.
Help them to know how their strength
And loving care will drift slowly
Into the days to come just when I need it most.

Let them know when I don't recognize them
That I will. . . I will.
Keep their hearts free from sorrow for me,
For my sorrow, when it comes,
Only lasts a moment, when it's gone.

And finally Lord, please let them know,
How very much their visits mean,
How even through this relentless mystery,
I can still feel their love.
Amen!

-Unknown Author-

God Bless,
Joe

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

As The Clouds Move In

"They" say whoever they maybe that thossse of us that suffer from the diffferent forms of dementia do not know that it is happening. Surprise your are full of dog dodo. I look at each day as things very slowly slip away and I see that cloud on the horizzon. I have always had a thirst for knowledge and doing things (when I was not being lazy). That once mighty river and fire that burned insside of me has slowly turned to a brook and a candle and it makes me sad. As I get lost in conversationnns and it takes me longer sometimes to recognize those I knoww, I feel the battle ground beneath my feet shake a little harder. I fought threw the cruelty of a bruttle father and naive mother, an addicted teen life and young adult drunk. I finally learned to love without strings and taking only to have it yankked from my very arms. But I had learned to finally lovve and give freely and became clean and sober in the process. Now I enjoy when I am able to my family, even with the cancers and brain injuries that occured to my children and wife the fucked up relations they had, I still was able to move forward and win the battles. Now my time has slowly come, I haaave great trouble in expressing myself anylonger, conversations and even this take a great deal of concentration and energy that I am left exhausted. I stand with open arms to welcome to my world that which is coming, for I believe that peace will be with it and this confusion, frustration and physical pain will be forgotten, at least one can only hope. Many I talk to with dementia, get angry with me when I talk of the death of me, who I am, I think it is because they know that it is true for them also. God Bless you all and one day we shall alll meet.
Joe

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Farwell To My Old Friend Pain

The letter that follows has never been sent this is all done in spell check so that it makes some sense. At long last I need to close what is the next to final chapter of my life. I know the individual will never see this but it serves to finish my part and clean my side of the street. It has been awhile since I have posted or written anything, that is because things are well taking their toll or scheckles if you will.

August 24, 2007

Dear Phyllis,

I am not quiet sure how to start this letter or if it will even be sent to you. See I have never broken my word or lied to you. When we last talked, I promised you I would not bother you again and that was truly my intent. But I cannot get over the way you talked to me, when I called as a friend nor the way you ran from me claiming you loved me so much it hurt that August night in 1978. Should I send this, due me at least one final courtesy read it before you rip it up and throw it in the trash.

Yes when I called it was done in friendship and with the hope you would tell me the truth as to why you left me standing like a piece of trash in the middle of the street. I did not deserve that. I did nothing but love you, stand by your side and support you in what you wanted to do. I never lied to you nor even bothered with any other females, you were everything to me and I thought I was to you.

I can only believe that one of two things had happened, age was not one and we both know that, I do not believe you were seeing anyone else either; I think either your parents finally gave you an ultimatum regarding me or you were pregnant and going to get an abortion. I found the second more likely, and would have stood by your side and decision and still cared and loved you, because we were together too long knowing your parents hated me and wished I would vanish into thin air. I tried to show them I would not hurt you, nor was I going to let their dislike for me push me away from you. Kids were something you did not want and if you remember correctly I told you we would marry when you decided and if we were to have children it would be your call. All I really wanted were for us to be together in life forever.

You see I feel my Lord gave me a gift the night you kissed me on the cheek and began our relationship. To that point in my life I had never felt that anyone loved or cared for me. Not even my parents, my father used to beat me till I bled and my mother always told me I should not make him so mad. My friends were non existent, I learned to cheat, lie and steal at my parent's side and how to take and not give back. Of being loved or loving I knew nothing at all. Then you were put in my life and I learned to trust another person, except their caring and their love and I learned to give back without asking or expecting anything for the first time in my life. You were a true gift from God, because of you I have been able to love, give and care for someone other than myself. You taught me that and I am forever grateful, for that gift, which will never be taken away from me.

This is my way of bringing closure to us and saying goodbye finally. You see I never morn a loss, I always have rejoiced in having known the person, and I did not do that with you. I have never allowed the kindness, love, caring and giving you showed me to overshadow the way you left my life as if there was some big dark secret. You see I cannot perceive running from someone you love so much without telling them why they cannot be a part of your life any more unless something so bad in you mind existed that you thought I would do something crazy over. I tell you this in all honesty I would never have hurt you, I would have rather died then cause you any pain, which apparently existed.

So to you my Love and friend, I bid you a found farewell. I hope the Lord continues to bless your life and bring you the happiness that you deserve. Remember we lose loved ones, but rejoicing and celebrating their lives is the greatest compliment that we can pay them. I rejoice in knowing you and am happy for the time you were part of my life.

With Gods' Love,
Joe

God Bless You All and This Country of Ours!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Well Another Day

Had annual physical two weeeks ago, funny thing they say my lungs are ok, but two years ago x-rays said had emphazema, I questioned how that could be, I am not the brightest light bulb in the pack, but I do know that shit does not go away it works till it kills you. So it appears after I had the doc (himself) look at the xrays and not take the radiologists word for things, the original x-rays were so bad he could not make any kind of a diagnosis, but the current ones are good. Two years on meds that I did not need because some idiot cannot do their job right. So to help with the old brain, we had a PET Scan and it shows that half of my frontal lobes are, well in Peru. That means the rest will follow. Have read some recent studies that AD is thought to start as other dementias in the frontal lobes. WEll we are off to see one of the two best neurologists in the state on 9/4, that ought to be fun. Can hardly wait for this diagnosis. All I know for sure is my life is slowly disapating and I get lost in a world I do not know where and my youngest now tells me I am mixing of the sexes when I talk hes are shes and so on. Life is still ok I am breathing, I can still do that right at least.
God Bless You and this Country of Ours!
Joe

Sunday, July 15, 2007

My Farwell

The one thing I have tried to say to those I love and care about, my frineds, family, whoever they maybe, I no longer know for sure is not to cry for me when I am gone, both mentally and physically. Hopefully my ashes will be spread in Gods' Country, YellowStone National Park, where I want to be. Whether this blog remains or not only time will tell. You can see I do not post as often, things are begining to mean less to me than they did befor. So while I can say it and have the will to, I bid all those I have known a found farwell and hope I have left something good in your lives. I am not going today, but I need this to get out of me before I forget and do not have the time to do so. Some of my family will read this others won't the same as friends and so on, because they are just caught up in their own lives and mine is not that important in the Grand Scheme of things. Only to me and my Lord.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!
Joe

Monday, March 5, 2007

While I still Can Think

Today has knowt been wone of mey better days. Have been angry and frustratied. Some have felt that today, even my granddaughter. Soon my optometrist will feeel it, taking over 5 week for lenses. I have no patient left with waht if feel in incompentency or out right stupidness. I should talk, cant even spel right or thing straing anymore. But take your meds you will be okd BS. These tiny slices are killing me, mly emotions, I have no controolll over anymore, no matter how hard I try. This disease sucks big time. The hell of it is our people in congress and the white house give a shit. It isn't a minority issue. WElll soon it will be a vast majority issue as they and theirs begein to suffer the ravages. As nasty as this sounds, I can hardly wait for them to join me. When it is to late to do anything, and alll they can do is say "If only I had listened".

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Back Home Again

Well we are back from Washingto and things are getting to normal. Still forgetting who the heck I am talking to and not able to remembeer conversations. But life goes on each day a little less than the last one, but I can still commmmmunicate to some degree with others. Seem to P$#@ off alot of people more than usual. But that is their problem. They do not know what the corrrridors of my mind are like. I really cannot explain it to them. I know it is hard for them, but it sure is not easy on this side of the fence. Thre grass is not green it is getting brown. I have becomee somewhat disencahanted with those taughting how wonderful they are with this disease. And they can write books and their blogs are art this point or another. I sometimes think the have there heads ups their ass. I had to have mine surgicallly removed, to see the light of day. They write so eloquantly and do not show others how this disease and other forms of dementia really are. It is know wonder peopel and practioners just do not get it. I am real, I profess no secret knowledge of this disease, all I know is i suffer its relentless ravages. Imagine sitting accross from your family as they talke to you and you have no idea who the hell the are or what they are saying. That is the reality of it. Yes I can recall days gone by, but yesterday or this morning forget it. Enough from me this day.

God Bless You All and This Great Country of Ours!
Joe

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Picks or Frontal Lobe Dementia

This information came from: www.mydr.com.au


FRONTAL LOBE DEMENTIA AND PICK'S DISEASE

Like Alzheimer's disease, Pick's disease and frontal lobe dementias cause a progressive and irreversible decline in a person's abilities over a number of years. Frontal lobe dementia and Pick's disease are the cause of less than 10 per cent of all dementias and may usually be distinguished from Alzheimer's disease early in the course of the illness.

Arnold Pick first described Pick's disease in a 71-year-old man in 1892. Pick's disease affects the temporal lobes of the brain in 25 per cent of cases, frontal lobes in 25 per cent and both frontal and temporal lobes in 50 per cent. Frontal lobe dementia affects the frontal lobes initially. Damage to the frontal lobes leads to alterations in personality and behaviour, changes in the way a person feels and expresses emotion, and loss of judgement.

The following information about Pick's disease is also appropriate for other frontal lobe dementias.

Common symptoms of Pick's disease

Personality and behavioural problems
The first symptoms of Pick's disease are typically psychological and behavioural problems. Initially, the diagnosis may be suspected to be a mental illness. People may show symptoms of a change in their character and in their social behaviour. They may have a diminished drive and often their expression is vacant.

A person with Pick's disease may show insensitivity, which is especially noticeable in a person who previously showed consideration to others. There may be a lack of restraint and the person may be caught up in the criminal justice system because of stealing or behaviour which lands him/her in trouble.

Another sign of Pick's disease is that the person often becomes quite obsessional during the early stages, insisting that everything is absolutely neat and in order, or repeatedly washing his hands or observing little rituals each time a certain task is carried out.

There may be sexual misadventures, social graces may deteriorate, the person may talk to strangers, make inappropriate comments in public and indulge in practical jokes. Unfortunately, people with Pick's disease often suffer from significant absence of insight into the effects of their behaviour.

Language problems
Language problems also occur early in the disease: limited speech output, lack of speech spontaneity, stereotyping of phrases (e.g. use of pat phrases repeatedly and excessively), perseveration (a meaningless persistence of verbal activity), a decreased vocabulary, and a considerable amount of repetition, especially of brief words and phrases.

Often there is jargon and instead of being able to find the word to describe an object, the person with this disease will give a description of it instead (e.g a watch referred to as 'something you tell the time with'). This means that the person may not be able to name objects early in the disease.

Eventually the person becomes mute for periods and then completely mute by the end of the disease.

Kluver-Bucy syndrome
This refers to a group of problems which are relatively common in Pick's disease. These are hypersexuality, gluttony, and an obsession to touch and seize any objects in the person's field of vision. Overeating may lead to considerable weight gain.

Who can get the disease?
Anybody can get the disease, although there may be geographical differences in the incidence of Pick's disease. Some studies suggest the disease to be more common in women while others suggest a greater risk in men. The most severe cases of Pick's disease occur before the age of 60 years. The highest incidence is between 50 and 60, but people may develop the disease earlier or up to 80 years.

What is the cause?
As with Alzheimer's disease, in most cases, the cause cannot yet be determined. However, there are strong genetic components in certain families. When there is a genetic element, it is autosomal dominant, (on average, half of the children of an affected parent will develop the disease, but half will not) but is clearly modified by a number of environmental factors as yet to be discovered. The genetic component has been variously described as affecting 20 to 50 per cent of people with Pick's disease.

Diagnosis
Although Pick's disease can only be conclusively diagnosed after a person's death by a post mortem examination of the brain, there are several techniques, such as brain scans and EEGs, which can be used during the person's lifetime to give a probable diagnosis. These techniques can help in determining whether the dementia is likely to be Pick's disease or a closely related disorder, for example, Alzheimer's disease.

Prognosis and treatment
As yet, there is no cure for Pick's disease and neither can the progression be slowed down with any medication treatment. Probably because Pick's disease is much less common than Alzheimer's disease, there is less research into Pick's, and there are currently no drug trials taking place in relation to treating Pick's disease.

The course of Pick's disease is an inevitable progressive deterioration. From the onset of the disease, life expectancy is 2-15 years, with an average of 6-12 years. Death is usually caused by infection.

Some of the symptoms of the disease can be treated effectively. For example, certain medications can reduce some of the behavioural problems. Also knowing more about the disease and why the person is behaving as they are can in itself be an effective means of helping people to cope with the disease. (The Alzheimer's Association NSW has an extensive dementia library, education and counselling services).

What are the differences between Pick's disease and Alzheimer's disease?
The main difference between Pick's disease and Alzheimer's disease is that the damage occurs in different areas of the brain, at least in the early stages. In most cases of Pick's disease, the frontal and temporal lobes of the brain are the areas affected and with Alzheimer's disease, the temporal and parietal lobes are affected.

Mendez and co-workers (1993) found, even in the absence of temporal or frontal lobe atrophy on CT brain scans, that Pick's disease can be distinguished from Alzheimer's disease if 3 of the following 5 characteristics are present early in the disease:

* presenile onset (under 65 years old);
* initial personality change;
* hyperorality (loss of normal controls, e.g. excessive eating, indiscriminate putting things in one's mouth);
* disinhibition; and
* roaming behaviour.

Compared with Alzheimer's disease, impairment of intellect and memory occur later. As well, epilepsy is uncommon, delusions and hallucinations are rare, and apraxia (inability to perform, command, or imitate a familiar action) and agnosia (inability to recognise objects) are less common. Gait and muscle tone are less affected. In the late stages, Parkinsonism symptoms, immobility, incontinence and mutism occur. In the terminal stage, the different dementias are clinically indistinguishable.

Carers
Being a family carer of a person with dementia, regardless of whether it's Alzheimer's disease, Pick's disease or another type, can be physically and emotionally exhausting. However, Pick's disease can often be even harder on families because:

* of the personality changes and behavioural quirks which are very distressing;
* often there is a delay in diagnosis of the disease;
* it receives less publicity than Alzheimer's disease and therefore, is even less understood by the public, friends, etc;
* often, persons affected with Pick's disease are younger; and
* language problems develop earlier.

Families of people with Pick's disease and other frontal lobe dementias need support in their caring role.



myDr, 2001. Reproduced with kind permission from the Alzheimer's Association of NSW.

Reviewed : 9/3/2001
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* Alzheimer's Association NSW