A Little Humor

Joe, this is to put a smile to your face. It came to my e-mail.

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I

have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do,

 we're not going to be able to assemble

these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says,

"Secondly, I want you to relax.

Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then,"

he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

Carol

_______________________

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I am honored to have added......

Finally Cousin Cliff from the HBO series is now on In Memory of Page.  He was born James Clifton Holman. For many years he entertained thousands of children on his TV show. It is only fitting that his final momments were caught on film for the screen. Welcome Cliff.


God Bless
joe

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Asking for Help & New Link Added.

I have added a new link, Nursing Home Abuse, for those of you that may have problems with a nursing home or need help in finding and how to look for one.  Do hope that this will be of help.

I am glad to see the comments of help going back and forth, this will help you I think and hope. This is what this blog has been waiting for.  Out of the avg of 179 people that visit each day, I think some of you have great wisdom to offer each other. For me, getting better is not taking place, getting worse is and will till it kills me.

You all know I just love the medical profession and researchers with great and profound moranity. I got a mailer the other day, Alhzeimers cured and the cause, medical book supposedly. AD caused by lack of insulin in other words diabetes of the brain. The gist is that extra insulin can halt or even reverse the damage. A lot of quacks out there, amazing that this one dr. has found this out and has not shared it with the medical community but is with the world.  I think I will go have to cokes so the caffine stops my AD.

I need some help or at least to know if any one with AD out there or caregivers have noticed this happening:
For a cpl of months now I have been experienncing pain in the brain, this is not a headache or migrane as one knows them to be.  It is like someone with really big hands is reachin inside my skull and just squeezing the hell out of my one brain cell, trying to make it smaller. This can last for hours to days, even longer once it is gone I notice that more of me is gone.  I guess the details I follow because of my employment was in the field of computers and data gathering and details, still with me to a degree. Have talke to my shrink and pyhsycologist about this and get a dumb look. So you folks my family if you have any info on this I sure would like to know about it, I feel alone enough now without being the only one with this bull shit.

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When Happiness Leaves & Shadows Come

As I walk on this journey of mine, although not alone, it does not seem that way anymore.

The wife and I have tried to have discussion about what is going on with me, but that veil of secrecy that has always been around me seem to be even thicker now. It is becoming more difficult for me to express what is happening and what is inside, because frankly I am not sure what the hell is taking place. I get more lost in my own head then I do elsewhere. Out and about with people is close to being a no no.

Lynn has asked me several times what would make me happy. Each time she has asked I come up with only one answer and that is to die or cross over the line. I no longer like this on the edge shit, it is to confusing, frustrating and just gets in the way of everything. I spend to much time crying inside and I have come to dislike me a great deal. But there really is nothing I can do about that, the disease is doing its job and the meds, even increasing them is not helping. Knew this time would come, just did not want to be here for it. But since I am not the ruler of the universe, be thankful, it is not in my time but his (I wish he would hurry).

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!!!
joe

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As The Weeks Go By

The last few weeks I have beeen working with others to bring more excitement to my blog
things I havve added, I once could have done in minutes by myself, they have taken days with help. Things are not well in my head nor do they seeem to be inside either. My shrink has suggested I go back to my physco. guy and my physician for some help. But I am a stubborn bastard and well you can guess the rest.

If I can remember why i have the note on my computer that says "BLOG" maybe I will post more often, even when I have nothing to say, which is gettting to be most of the time now.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!
Joe

PS No brains, if David S. would send me the linke to his blog, use the email form near botton I would be glad to read & comment and tie to my blog.

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Friends You Got To Love Them.

This came from a friend of mine, who knows there is not much upstairs anymore and that I love old jokes and humor.




A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. 'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 'that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life? ''Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, 'I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'.'
********************************
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. 'Yes, Dad, what is it? '
'Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
---------------------------------
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
---------------------------------

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me!

I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
********************

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
-------------------------------

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
<><><><><><><><><>

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

<><><><><><><><><>
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
---------------------------------
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft...
Today, it's called golf.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide.
The first old guy says to the second guy, 'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.'
The second old guy says, 'That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate.'
The first old guy says, 'Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?'
' The second old guy says,' Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?'
To which the first old guy says, 'Doesn't matter, let's look for yours.'

********************

Lord, Keep Your arm around my shoulder, and Your hand over my mouth!

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I Am Back, Ready or Not.

You know, no you don't, but this damn disease is a real bitch at times. I find myself having to seperate and kind of hide to keep from lashing out. We have had our one daughter and grand kids and son in law with us almost 3 weeks I think, am not handlin this well. I love them, but.

My wife and I are starting to lock horns more, she thought my last post was rather mean and spiteful, I think that is how she put it. My reply was, well you guessed it eat shit and bark at the moon. I write what I feel and how I see it. It may be clouded it maybe one sided, but it is all I know. I make no excuses for what and how I put it. Those that live in this World with me, they know, they understand and hopefully I say what they cannot at least for now, while I am able to . Yes I am angry as I write this today, better to put it here than where else I might.

Ino We that live with AD, really find ourselves fucked up alot of the time, understanding the real confusion and loss we feel is difficult I know for those on the outside looking in. See we can not get back to the outside to look in, we are stuck here and sinking deeper. Try to imagine the darkness starting to encase you slowly and you cannot stop it and you want out and NO not for you. What is that old saying when Casey at The Bat struck out, there is no joy in mudville.

Well enough from me. You all have a great day and wonderful life.
God know the idiots in Washington won't fix it, but only screw us more.
joe

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!

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No Wonder My BackYard is a Challenge..

I was sittting here reading my last entry, I knew something was wrong with it, but I had to study my own hands to figrue it out. It should have read starting on the left. See I do not know my right from my left anymore. Might be one reason I don't drive anymore and I turn into the wall when walking. I think I have it right now, if not you figure it out I am done.

You know this thing is gettting the better of me, we knew it would happen. I am having greater difficulty in remebering what day it is and am getting lost in conversations more often now. I am trying to follow the note that hangs on my computer desk that just says BLOG. I feel that I will soon not be doing this, having too much trouble with my thoughts, fingers and the friken keybaord.
So much for my crab, you all have a great ad wonderful life.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
Joe

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Who Am I?

For some reason many of you have called me hero, courgeous, generous spirt, wonderful person and all type of kind things. Truly I am none of these, just another one among millions with this fricken disease. No cure, no real meds, no real scientific finds, just one end. At firstm many thought I was bitter orver it, I never have been. Pissed at a medical profession that would not get its head out of its ass and listen yes. You see it is just my turn, I was called and well I answered, oh well. Often wanted to write my life story, maybe that is teh real reason behind this blog, I do not know. Now I have difficulty putting it into a time frame since time does not exist for me the same as it does for you. I was going to callthe booke THROUGH THE LAUGHTER, HE HEARD MY TEARS! So much for that.

If you want to know who and what I really am, there is a post 08/0/2008 called A Warrior's Lament, an attempt at a poem by me saying where I have been and am and a post 09/29/2007 Farwell To My Old Friend Pain, to post is self explaining I thing.

Well Lakes to HBO this blog has been buzing. They are the Heroes for doing the series that needed to be done. Five hours cannot cover it all, but they did a one heck of a knock up job. Shit the brought back long lost friends to me because of it, I sure benefited by it. Well tooo much rambling.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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Lost In Time!

I have jsut relized that we are already at the 10th of January. A new president willl take office in ten days I think it is. When I first got the wonderful news of this new paradise that I am to lvie in, it did not bother me too much. I felt that as with ofther things it was just my turn, deal with it. It was not bad at first I had many good days with small moments in them and then days that just who the hell knows where I was. But they have seemed to merge together. Truly I have a proble with what day it is, even though I keep a calendar by my computer and mark the days off. I have gone back to sticky notes, but the real kick is remembering to use this stuff. I am not angry with the condition, but it really plays hell with you. I do not venture out alone, who knows where I will be. I find spending lengths of time with outrthers becoming quite uncomfortable and extremely distracting. My patients, which I never had, just does not handle it well. I am loosing my train here, so I guess I will go wait for a bus. Catch Ya later.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
Joe

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Welcome to 2009!

Well the New Year of 2009 is well upon us. New challenges, changes and I am afraid much of the same old bullshit. I hope your year is good to you, I know that mine will only get tougher, but that is alright. Just think if I didn't have this wonderful sickness, YOU MIGHT. So I am doing you a favor. May you find comfort in you life and giving to others.
My world and how I feel in it much of the time.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
Joe

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Only Us With AD & The Likes Would Think of This!

an email that was forwarded to me. my life in a nutshell.

AAADD
KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....


PLEASE READ

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better even though I have it.

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I l ook over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,
since I'm going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Pepsi aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye--they nee d water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
the car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't f ind the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail....

Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I don't remember who the hell I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming

By the way don't forget to VOTE!

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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Where is Yesterday?

It is beocming harder each day to remember yesterday, let alone try today, even this monring. Here we are mid October per the calendar and I am somewere in September. I feel like I am altogether but I am totallly confused as to what to do next. This is not fun. But it is the hand I was dealt so I play the cards and see what they do and try to understand them. The new meds seem to help the pains in the chest and the sweating whrn walking or doing some work. So I gues complaining is just whimpy on my part. I wish I had the words to discribe what it is like to be in this World that I and others like me live in. It reallly sucks. First you know then you forget and then you do not remember forgetting what it was that you knew. If tha makes no sense to you ok, but it does to me. My frustration with others is growing and I go off more quickly then usual. I started this today with my thoughts all together and now they are some where in space and time. Did use postit notes but I found I did not read them or kept doing them over and over, now who knows what works. My brain sure does not know and many times I just don't give a damn, it is to hard to put the thoughts together. It is easier to just leave the old grey matter alone. Till next time.

God Bless You and This County Of Ours!
joe

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Some Humor for This Month!

I thought that with all the humor of the elections that we, even us with this damn disease could use a laugh. The following is from a friend of mine in Britian, I hope you find the humor as I did.

Bus Ride

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> A little something for you to get your mind off your troubles for a minute!
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> ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 ---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY
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> A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
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> The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
>
> The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this, when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,' Logan 's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident'... I just lost it.'
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Got to love thos Brits.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!
Joe

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How things change.

Since I have been so blessedd with these wonderful diseasess it is strange to me how I have been changing and changing towards others. I am not to concerned with what they think or have to say. I am getting more self absorbed you could say. I am not sure if this is part of the way this thing goes, but it is how I am starting to feel, it is as if others do not exist in my World, hard to describe this feeling as my commmand of the language is going to hell in a hand basket. I more and more do not enjoy going out and having people around me. The noisse and all the hurry scurryy around me tendsl to set me off and I have to get away from it. I know because of the hlep that my famliy has given me, I have fallen in love with my wife and the rest of my family all over again. I find when I am extreemly focused on something that I can talk and wright quiet well. But that amount of concentraation is greatly tiring and causes me to become unsteady for awhile. My mind is starting to ramble to I will say good bye for now.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!
joe

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Lost in Time!

Wow here it is amlost the midlddle of September, where have I been. It seems like as each day passes I become less and less aware of the day, date, week, month or the time. It is all seemilgy running together. It is like today is almost a repeat of yesterday. I now have problems with some of my conversations, my tongue seems to get in the way and I get all screwed up in what I am saying, so I gust wave my hands and say latter. Which of course latter does not come because I for get what I was saying in the first place. It seems to be this whole time affect first forward then backwards, drives me nuts (that is a short drive). I find that i get more irritable as time goes on, I try to handle it but well sometimes that is just the way things happen. I did not even realise that we were this far into this mont. Halloween will be here and I will not know it, except for the candy and the tricker treators. Well I guess I will go do something, probably something of no importance, but it will be something I think.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!
Joe

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Home Improvement Projects I Think Not

I have beeen one of those do it yourselfers, but those days are ending. Power tools and I are starting to have a new understanding. You don't pick me up, I will not hurt you. Helped the Mrs. put up new blinds in my sons room over the weekend. Those of you that live in earthquaaaake land will understand. There was a 7.2 quake going on inside me as I shook, rattled and tried to fall out the window. All this for standing up to put in a total of 10 screws. Getting to hard to handle that many even one doesnot work. I think I lost 30 pounds in sweat in the process. The time was I could paint a straight line with no guide between walls and cieling. Now we have highways with bends in them. Forget trying to mortar cracks they stick out like mountains, the crack is better.I guess this all goes with the AD and FTD. Once had pride in my handy work, now 5 year olds can do just as well. But I can still vaccuum so there. The towels get done as long as I remember to turn them on and change from washer to dryer and take them out, now that can take as long as 12 hours.. I go visiting a lot and I am not sure where it is that I go. I try to keep this light, but it is not any fun. If I get too awraped up in it I am to much to handle even for myself. But I knew that this road was to get tougher and rockier and it has not wasted much time. Well till next time.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!
Joe

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You Got To Be Kidding!

Recently I was told this about me telling you about my life with this disease. The individual even found it funny and without purpose. Wel that is ok, because I am here for me and for those who care for people like me and are like me. This is not fun and games this is real life. It iss difficult to lay out your life and how you feel. I once started sometime ago I cannot remember when posting my life story on a site, I am but one person in over 6 billion on this earth, who would care. I started getting so many emails I could not go through one days worth in a day. I was blunt and just as forthwritht in the story as I try to be here. You know when you just roll out of bed and land on the floor and are not sure why you are there I try to laugh, yes I do that. I walk into wals, sit on the floor and just fall over.I hate going past my mailbox alone, it scares me, I am leaving my security place and I actually run back, because I am afraid I will forget where it is. Sometimes you can talk like the wind with folks other times you just stare and wonder who they hell is this person and what are they doing here. The problem is you have no control over it.wrighting tihis takes all my ability to consentrate and generally I go to sleep afterwards, my brain fills like it has been crushed, I like some that live in this World of Mine do not want to be here anymore, it hurts to look at those you know, but you cannot talk to them, because the brain and mouth cannot find each other.Emotions are a real mountain, boy when they start to flow, their is no stopping them until you are tottally wiped out. The pains of the past that you thought were dealt with and now at rest, rear their ugly heads with a vengance. That is while early on in this ordearl I tried to contact old friends and put things to rest, without telling them what was happening, I got yeah I kind of remember but forget it doesn't matter, thanks but don't call again and out right anger, well that is the way it goes. If I have the time and my brain stays with me or me with it I think I shall post in segements my life story, for me. I getting lost now so good bye my friends till next time.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!
Joe

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My Life Passes

Lately I haave found the past getting tangled in my mind, such things as when who why and the like. My days are becoming shorter as time seems to pass and I am totally unawaree of it. I have been experiencing great difficulties in keeping old times and folks out of my relationship with my wife, needless to say this is becoming quiet a pain in the ass. I know it hurts her and it fricken is driving me nuts, to the point I am having a hard time relating to her, especially in a man and woman sense, you know husband and wife tings, the pills do not help, I think my drive and wants are getting screwed up with everything else. New or what should be new memories do not even stay with me anymore. I lock my way in sleeping at the drop of a hat, I am beginning not to care anymore, which is part of the FTD and the AD time marches on and I seeem to stand still. At times things are fine and then I have no idea of what is taking place. My tempor is growing shorter, patience is very little.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
Joe

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A Sad Morning

This morning has beeeen one of those moments as I call them when old things pop up that create heart ache. I was recalling when my frien Jimmie, friends since we wer 5 and lived accross the street from each other, at the age of 16 was found hung one afternoon, the loss is still with me and I cry for him and cannot wait until this fricken disease erases that memory, for he was one of two of my close friends that died that way at the same age. I talked to an old school mate this morning informing him I would not be at our class reunion from Austin High in Chicago from 1962, good thing the invitation is in front of me. We spoke briefly and asked him to say high and wish them all Gods' blessings for me. My social graces then were not very good and now I go off in a momemnt and and would be3 more of a disruption then a pleasantness to the festivities. This is my link to all of you that visit me, in My World that is occupied with outhers in the same sinking ship. I do my best to enjoy what I have, but I am noticing that I am increasingly forgetting yesterday and last year and some years before more often. I get lost in conversations, God only knows where I go because I sure the f&*k don't. Enough of the pitty potty, I am still here and able to speak to you. I truly enjoy hearing from YOU out there, so for now take care of yourselves.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!
Joe

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