Hello All!

My ggrandson Lucas is now home from hospital and out of the NICU and mom is fine, so they do not have that stress anylonger.

We built a cover over the pond and have started to plant the area, should be done soon, then will post pictures. We have a new femaile Koi that is pregnant. She is black with a white belly and white nose so we call her Orca. Have to get a male for her, since I lost mine.

I have been trying to read a book from a friend who has been published and it comes out in June, so I cannot tell you the name yet. I am having problems with it, very slow reader I am. But what I see in it that for you care givers it probably will be good. I cannot relate to the person's feelings from this side of the fence, except to let them know that many of their feelings we have on this side. Of course we don't have the family BS of what to do with us to tend with, we just keep going on and forgetting. But I can see how it could get tacky, since we are still locked away and forgotten about. Not alot has changed over the decades.

I am starting to become disconnectd from life in general and my past and who I once was. Things seem to be of little importance anymore. Ask me this afternoon what I did this morning and I will have problems telling you and so goes the day and my life. Trying to keep a sense of humor is becoming hard, I do not like this world of mine but I cannot change it, it is what it is, shit.

Posting is getting harder. The note on my computer to do so does not help much, I just start and forget and walk away. telling of the misery of this does not even fill worhwihile anymore. There is a lonelyness that is setting in a feeling of being apart from everything, and trying to hang on I feel like I am drowning in a vast void in my mind.

So much babbling.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
joe