Hi All!

This week has been difficult. My daughter is down with her hubby and 4 kids, and of course my other daughter and her 4 kids and hubby come over and my son and his sweetie, my wife, mother-in-law and youngest daughter, just waaaaaay toooooo much for me. I have to admit things have been ok, but then i must confess i have used extra meds to help. Monday i completely came apart and i guess i was less than friendly, rather a bastard. So appologies had to be ginen, i hate those things. We were at the Write On, book authors of Oceansided get together yesterday. That was fun, got to ride my new scooter and meet other writers and make some friends. Do not ask me who they are I have no idea.
This disease is a real brain buster, sometimes I feel like i am ok and others i am in another world. damn things switches on and off throughout the day, drives me and those around me a bit batty.my headaches are getting worse, but doc says things are ok, but what the hell do they know, they just practice medicine. I am very drained this week and the kids will all be back today - Oh i can hardly wait. well back to the drugs and some food. Even met more folks who have loved ones with this disease Saturday, amazing how they are comming out of the wood.
Take care of yourselves to the next time.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe
go Mitt

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What AAAAAAAHHHH RUUUUUSSSSHHH

Yesterday when I was younger, i wnt and had a large amount of blood taken for tests. Now I am a child of the night seeking out dinner.  I had a two hour glucose toleratnce test, WOW.  I was hungry as hell then they gave me the water to drink, filled with what tasted like sugar, but I am not sure what was in it. Well now I felt fine, they drew my blood at one hour and the world was ok, at the seceond and final hour the world was a bit different. I felt like i was as drunk as a skunk I could not walk without help. Funny how the floors and walls move by themselves. I truly was wasted have not felt like that in decades, nor do I want to again. Should get results within the week. Had to wait until today to catch you all up, yesterday just was a RUSH all day, no one wanted to leave me but everyone had to go somewhere, I ate alot and slept and by late evening I was in better shape. Today is ok, i just hurt all over, feel like i was used as a punching bag, i am big enoungh and well stuffed.

I still wonder why this disease is not working the same with me as others, it seems all the physical parts are rapidly come down, but although not fully functional, my brain seems to be somewhat alive. I do have problems doing complicated things, this is one of them, but there are times that things seem crystal clear, then they go to hell in a hand basket. Really drives me nuts. But Lynn in her loving and gentle way reminded me today that I never do anything the way I am suppose to. Marriage what a wonderful thing. Try it you may like it, I tried three times, until I was taught how to behave myself.

Stay well and take care of yourselves.  Love You All!

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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Alzheimer's, The Blessings Of!!!!

I can hear you all now, joe is going on the rampage with this one. Well you are wrong. You all know the crap side and so do I, but you do not know the, morbid as it sounds, the blessings that come with this death sentence.
1. You know you are not nuts.
2. Death is no longer a fear.
3. You get to forget your resentments.
4. You no longer hate someone, because you forget them.
5. You meet new people daily.
6. You talk to stangers more frequently.
7. You do not have to be stylish in your dressing any longer.
8. You forget to tell people to fuck themselves, hence you may not swear as often.
9. If you smoke you make forget to or where you placed the things, spend all day looking for them and go to bed saying the hell with it, and never having smoked.
10. Nine could work for drinking.
11. Wake up each morning with a new woman or man in your bed, This One We All Like, even you.
12. Forget you annoying relatives and neighbors.
13. Forget to turn on the TV, but yet you watch it.
14. Have conversations with people who know what you are saying, but no one else can see them.
15. Forget you hate vegetables and even try them now.
16. Get to have some one else change your clothes, what fun that coould be.
17. Take a bath when you damned well feel like or think you may need one.
18. Won't discuss the toliet training that you forgot, you caregivers might not find that so enjoyable.
19. Your new eating habits that help you loose wieght, no 20.00 for 20lbs., you just forget what food is for.
20. One day the World and all of its' Bullshit suddenly stop for you.

See we have to look at the bright side once and awhile. So I am sick, I am allowed, brain confussion, cannot seem to find the darn thing.  Have fun, be good to yourselves.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!!!
joe

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In Case You Have Not Noticed!!!!

I am giving my book away, for a limited time, FREE, you just have to pay shipping and handling. Also part of the s&h will be going to the Alzheimer's Disease Research Fnd.   I never wrote the book to get rich only to raise awareness for my side of the fence.  If giving the book away helps achieve that great, and along the way you will be helping the ADRF and it's work, plus raising awareness.


God Bless & Keep You and This Country of Ours!!!!!!
joe

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A different world

I know or at least think that many thought testifying in court was a big deal. But I had an attorney that ledd me through it, the entire eveidence package in fron of me and a judge that was just supper and helped everytime i sat therre with a blank and confused look on my face. Trust me that is why it took two days for me. Mr. Computer Brain, buned out circuits.

In case you are wondering what the big earth movement in Oceanside was on i think Thursday, it was the shifty old whale here hitting the deck as I tripped and fell over the cat. Not so nimble anylonger. Good thing have exxtra extra padding on my butt.. However ever since then I have been really having difficulty talking and trying to make sensse of things. Lynn says my face is lost when we talk or i look at her. Really i am lost and really do not like what is going on.

Have found out in round about ways why my voice is not listened to or my book received, I am just not gentle, kind and nuturing in my telling of this fucking disease. I guess i need to be more politically correct I think is the phrase, well bite my ass, there is nothing grand and wonderful of about having this disease. I have one thing for me though, I stand at the gate to the world of mine and about every 70 or so seconds I get to greet a new friend, shake their hand and hug them and welcome them to the darkside.

Dr. Joe Sivak will be in Long Beach in April promoting his book and Lynn and i hope to be able to make it up there to see him and maybe harass him a little those physcs need it.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!!!
joe

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Digital Copy of My Book

you can now purchase from my site the digital copy of my book.  Cost $8.00 usd for all.  you will neeed to download :Adobe Digital Essentials this is a free program for viewing digital Ebooks, much like Adobe Reader for pdf files.  All you need to do is click on the link and follow instructions.  Once you purchase my book I will email you a copy of it.  In case you have prooblems downloading the Adobe program I will also enclose the link with the book.  The digital copies are not autographed.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!!!!
joe

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Who Am I Now?

I no lonegr know wo Joe is. It is like i have become two different people. Actually the same but in two different worlds.  I feel like the Joe I was is sitting up in the balcony at a play. And i see the actors on the stage and they are me and those I know, but I am no longer part of their world or they mine.The world they are in, i am all screwed up in and walkand talk in circles. But the Joe in the Balcony is who he once was, this is getty scarey now. I knew things would happen but not this. I am starting to progress faster each day and it is harder to get here to write and tell you.  I have a new computer, an all in one, so only a screen sits on my desk. all is wireless, mouse, keybaord, internet and i have a remote. built in webcam and mic, touch screen, boy can i scrtew things up with this. The voice recogn. prog. andme are having a battle, it spells worse then me. Once I get it down if I do.My posts will be written by it, so you will get all he what the f***ks and things as I forget where I am and doing.

Will be making book available soon in digital format for everyone around the world to get. have to addd to my buy button.and stuff.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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My 300th Post - Mercenary This Time

As you may or may not be aware I have self published my blog through Xlibris Publishing and it was released in 10/2011. On the right hand side of my blog, yes I am promoting, hell I have to pay for this some how, you will find a new spot to buy my book, directly from me and I will even sign it for you. I got a limited supply from Xlibris at special pricing. The price includes any taxes and shipping costs for the price. If need be I will send Uncle Louie after you.
Some Humor Today:

EXERCISE  FOR PEOPLE  OVER 50

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.

Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. 

(I'm  at this level.)

 

 After you feel confident at that level,  put a potato in each bag. 

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!!!

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TO BE CONTINUED-------------

Well I am back today. Hope you all are well.  My day is a bit foggy and slow, but that is how things go. It is cool and rainy here, rain part very unusual for us, but welcomed.

Now tehn since you have wiated with great anticipation, pounding hearts and sweaty palms here is what is going on. First can you guess why the title to this post? Bet your wrong.

Living With Alzhiemer's (A Conversation if You Will), is in the process of being published. All of you have made this possible and have contributed in one way or another to it. Hopefully it will be out before xmas 2355, you know how slow and forgetful I can get. The Book as it is called, is not a novel or such, it is our conversation we have had over the last 4 years I think. Completely unedited and to the point. Yes it is this blog in print, comments and all, except the side materials as they appear.

So to you all Thank You, for your support, caring, sharing and just being there as I make this journey.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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Frustration Reigns!

This week has been a difficult week for me. Just toooooo much family and kids. Good thing I have additional meds to take or I woud not have kept things to gether. I love my family, but I am becoming less tolerant, more mouthy, angry and pissed mor easily. I have a grate deal of trouble controlling my mouth and emotions lately.

I want to thank the two who have taken the opportunity to guest blog here. I have invited several that I thought could add to the thought processes found here on both sides of the fence as it awere.  But it seems that some old "friends" choose not to. Everyone has something to offer. Even if it does not agree with what is felt here. That is what this blog is about. Expressing feelings about having dementia and those careing for us. Neither side is neat and tydie, they both suck. I miss the days when I could think more clearly and express myself and do it (ego here) with little room for argument. Now I am lucky to blog at all. But no this you are all welcome even those who feel I am just an angry old fart, angry yess, old yess and I guess a fart as well.

I try to not talk about everyday things, but how this disease affects me overall. Yess some days I am on top of it others I cann't even find the stairs. I do find the walls I walk into them and excuse myself. Yes I have taken additional meds today, and am still shaking inside and my temper is border line, but the impression of my teeth in my tongue helps me keep quiet. I will be posting some emails that I have been give permis to, I ask because not everyone leaves comments.

Dr. Joe I guess the 10.00 bucks I paid you for your post paid off. Doc I really cannot walk on water, trust me, I can barely walk on the ground without it moving. But I thank you, my friend.

Well you all take care and be good to each other.

God Bless You & Keep You and This Country of Ours!
Joe

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Hello All!

My ggrandson Lucas is now home from hospital and out of the NICU and mom is fine, so they do not have that stress anylonger.

We built a cover over the pond and have started to plant the area, should be done soon, then will post pictures. We have a new femaile Koi that is pregnant. She is black with a white belly and white nose so we call her Orca. Have to get a male for her, since I lost mine.

I have been trying to read a book from a friend who has been published and it comes out in June, so I cannot tell you the name yet. I am having problems with it, very slow reader I am. But what I see in it that for you care givers it probably will be good. I cannot relate to the person's feelings from this side of the fence, except to let them know that many of their feelings we have on this side. Of course we don't have the family BS of what to do with us to tend with, we just keep going on and forgetting. But I can see how it could get tacky, since we are still locked away and forgotten about. Not alot has changed over the decades.

I am starting to become disconnectd from life in general and my past and who I once was. Things seem to be of little importance anymore. Ask me this afternoon what I did this morning and I will have problems telling you and so goes the day and my life. Trying to keep a sense of humor is becoming hard, I do not like this world of mine but I cannot change it, it is what it is, shit.

Posting is getting harder. The note on my computer to do so does not help much, I just start and forget and walk away. telling of the misery of this does not even fill worhwihile anymore. There is a lonelyness that is setting in a feeling of being apart from everything, and trying to hang on I feel like I am drowning in a vast void in my mind.

So much babbling.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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GOOD MORNING WORLD!

hope you are all fine. Chat seems to be working out ok. Have gotten to talk with some nice people. One in particular a 21 yr old woman in Boston, who at her age has taken on the daunting task of working in an Assisted Living Facility and going to host an Alhziemer's Proget meeting. I know what it takes to work in such a facility, you see that is where my mind was made up at an early age, while I handle the computer systems for 3 facilities, never would I live the way I saw. My heart broke working there.

I have gotten a few that well shall we say have not been really forward, challenge them and they disappear, oh well.

I have been told to write a bok about this journey and I hae tried but you know I thought about it and said yes good ideaa. But then I started to think, something ya thnik. I am writing a book here, completely unedited. Certainly not proof read and things but neatly. But this is a living book ever changing, always wanted to write one andnow my brain realizes after how many years at this, that I am.

A little slower on the uptake these days. Well now, I lost my train and my thoughts, fuck I hate this shit. Catch Ya Latter.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
Joe

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