Showing posts with label freedom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label freedom. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

My Life and Times With Alzheimer's.

I havenot posted is sometime. I have not been around for sometime. My brain has been on Jupiter and I on Pluto. Last few weeks have been very trying and uncomfortable for me.  I am not used to being sick alot, but I guess I have no choice in the matter. Also  have become more i guess you would say going in different directions while triing to go forward. Things are finally catching up.  I am getting more and more losst in each day, for get talking to people that is becomin a chore. I still can come here and tell you how shitty it is getting.Iknow that we hada howuse full on Thanks Giving and I have been not with it since then at least. We are dog sitting or I guess we are seeing if we will be keeeping my one daughters dog for a whilce since the are moving. Just another thing to get under foot. So far thisis becomming a rather crappy holiday season, and it is nobodies fault. It is just my constant companion Alzheimer's moving in the heavier furniture for its final push however long that may take.

To my friends in Israel, you asked for my father and mother's names well real hard on the father, Joseph, my moms name was Muriel.  Both have been gone for sometime, my mom over38 years and my day close to23 years. I have been very touch lately by those in other countries that have written me and I am glad that they are part of this family of ours.

I want you to know that Yolanda Sanmartino who was in the HBO Documentary is still alive and with us and of course me. We are the only tow left from Memory The Loss Tapes, and at least two of those fetured in the Caregiver part have past. Friends keep me posted. Out of 10 people seen and spoken of in the documentary only two of us are left that I am aware of. This show was done in 2008 and released in 2009 mid year. So in that short period of time 3½ years, eight have passed and most all in the 8 year or less time span. I keep being told how this disease affects people dirrerntly and I am aware of that but it still claims us when it has finished us. But what sweet freedom afterwards.

Everyone says that there is nothing good about Alzheimer's or other forms of dementia, wellI am here to tell you that it has put me at peace about dieing and that is good, it also is starting to rid me of not only good memories but many of the ones that causea great deal of pain and let me tell you that is good.

Well my head is staring to wander and hurt, take care till next time.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

Monday, April 4, 2011

Click Me Find Out Those of Fame That Died from Alzheimer's

To those that went before me, I am trying to give you a voice as well. The title is a link to a listing of those who of fame have died from AD.  And Still the medical profession and sorry for this Alzheimer's Association have done crap to help us. Lot of studies, lots of meds, NO CAUSE, NO CURE & MEDS THAT DO NOT REALLY WORK!!!!  Only true diagnosis, cut the brain open at death.

The closer i get to the end the angrier i get at this world of ours, 2nd most dreaded disease and who talks about it. So Called Experts, who really have no idea what we with it go through, WHY?, because they do not listen or ask they know it all.

Everything causes it and everything can cure or hault it, in the end all this fails, we just fucking die. Cancer Society song is Happy Birthday, great for the survivors which there are millions.  Alzheimer's new song, So Long It has Been Good To Know You!!! no survivors.  Yes there is anger in me today, not for myself but for those that do not speak out without concern for hurting peoples feelings and not being polically correct.
I stand at the gate to this World of Dementia and I put out my had to each that enters every 70 seconds, to welcome them, to tell them they are not alone regardless of the failures of their fellow man to really help them.

Go ahead an rip me a new one. I am ready, but when you do prove me wrong and show me that ONE SURVIVOR.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!!!
joe

Friday, January 21, 2011

Hears a thought

How many caregivers out there ask the person they are caring for "How do you feel about having this?" Or "How do you feel when you can't remember?" I know Joe has communicated to me and has been trying to do the same with all of the readers he has. It is a tough concept to ask thses types of questions. What Joe has been trying to communicate is that there is alot of fear with this disease. He has sat down to eat dinner and forgotten what it is he is doing and how to do it. He is scared of the person sitting next to him even though he has known that person forever. We do not go out alot because he is afraid to go past the edge of the property because he may not come back. This has made a man who would willing take on the South Side of Chicago to do his job, someone who jumps when I walk up next to him. What we take for granted the pepole who have this disease no longer can. Joe mentioned that I had taken a job as a caregiver. I was taking care of a perfectly sweet couple who both had AD. Everyday while I was there we had the same discussions. "Where is my car?" "Why can't I go to the bank?" "It is not fun getting old because you get no respect from anyone." I was sorry when I decided that I could no longer work for this company because I will miss the couple. Try listening to your client, loved one, neighbor. They are trying to say hear me but most of the time can't.
This is what Joe wants on the TV shows, and the newspapers, and the articles that are written about the disease. We all know that there are people dying and we know the medical field is working on a cure for a disease that they don't know how it starts. I have never heard of brain cells regenerating. But then I don't have a degree.
This is the story that needs to be told.
And if it sounds like he is kvechting so be it send him some cheese and crackers. He'll love it.
Lynn

Monday, July 5, 2010

And You Say I am NOT NAGGED!!!

attacked from all angles


First let me wish you all a belated 4th of July!!
You know it is difficult when everyone is watching what you are doing constantly. OH of course the wife does not watch over me or nag, not the kids either, THEY have trained the fricken bird and cat to do their dirty work. I am surprised they have not given the fish feet and artificial living tanks so that they can come and spy as well. It has gotten so that I have no privacy under constant surveliance like a member of the KGB, well they won't catch me, my brain cell is working out a plan. As soon as it lets me know what the hell it is then I can do something about this invasion.

Seriously they need to watch me, I do some of the dumbest things, besides not letting the wall get out of my way before I walk into it. There are times I really do not know what the hell I am doiing or what I am talking about.  This is geetting more difficult as time goes on and it is suppose to, but it sure plays hell with what i want to do, which I do not know what that is to start with. Yes there has been joy this year two new grandchildren, my new koi pond, which I rarely sit by anymore, actually two ponds. all have mosiquto fish in them, cute little devils they are and do they populate.

Well I guess I have bitched enough, well maybe not, but at least I remembered most of what I wanted to say in this post, which in and of itself is something.  My physcologist would say that I am still in there somewhere, but the question is where.  He has been seeing me and been my friend for a number of years now, his father died from this damned disease, so he knows from where my anger and confusion and thoughts come from.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!
joe

PS: I can go anywhere I want, that is what I am told, but here is the kicker I have to be taken there, real freedom, right!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

It Is May

Just in case you wer not aware it is May. I know the calendar and my computer tell me so and they would not lie to me. Well maybe they would cannot trust them buggers.  At least my brain doesn't, it really does not anylonger link days weeks or months together, let alone years.

According to the wife I have developed my own language, not heard on this Earth is billions of years. It seems that when I cannot get out what I want to say, let alone remembber what it is, I express myself in sort of a babble type lanugaggge. She seems to understand me, I sure the hell don't, I wonder who has the problem. Her or me?  Since she can remember days, what to do and what she is talking about, she has the problem, those type of people do not live in my World. What the title has to do with this is beyond my mind. Sounded good.

Well we got some new young koi, will see how they do. I have to do water changes on the ponds, and I do not want to, it is such a pain in the ass. I guess the fishes like it, but not one has given me a fin to shake and say thank you.  They remind me of gov. officials take it, shove it up my butt and not even a kiss. Yes I am in a mood today, have been for awhile, never kno when they will come or go, seem to stay alot longer these days.

Take care, who knows i MAY see you soon.  There that is why the title. If you believe that your brain is as blue as mine is.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!
joe

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

To You Who Care For US!

This is my Thank You to all of you that give care for those in this World I live in.

Strange this may sound, but when we are set free from this disease, something really wonderful happens, YOU TO ARE SET FREE. The great burden you shoulder with us on a daily basis, which can be unbearable at times, is lifted from you. You once more are blessed to live your life. Maybe caring for another, or just getting a very well deserved rest for your heart, soul, mind and body.

From thos stil in my world and those that have been set free: THANK YOU11

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
Joe

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Freedom Rings Once More!

Thursday this disease took another from My World. You know it takes owr minds, it takes our emotions, it takes our feelings, it takes our abilities, then it takes our last breathe. But what it does not know iss that it returns it all to us and sets us FREE from its crips. Yes from the grips we snatch Victory. To you my friend Josephine, I can hear you sing your song of Freedom, see you running through the tall grasses under the blue skies. I was blessed, I got to share the big screen with you, but for a moment. Now I know you are free and it brings me hope. Annie God Loves You and so do Lynn and I.

God Bless & Keep You and This Country of Ours!!
joe

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Pushy Friends!

I am glad I have some, they help remind me of what my postit notes seem to fail to do. I have not written in while. I have been elsewhere lately, not ecxalty sure where, but I have been there. Getting more tests, health is well not what is used to be. Age this disease, rotten lyfestyle when I was youndger who knows, I do not. What is starting to show more offten then not, is I have no idea what day it is and yesterday seems not to have happened. Hard to explain. But there is no longer any time frame in my brain to connnect things to, so they all seem recent and mixed up. True moments of knowing exactly what I am thinking or doing are growing fewer by the day. This is not a lot of fun and am starting to looose my humor about it. But I am getting to meet someone new each day in the mirror, so I guess that is ok.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!
Joe

Monday, May 25, 2009

We Will Always Remember!!!!!!!!




Lest we forget why we are FREE!!!!! To OUR TROOPS and FALLEN COMRADES, I Salute You.

God Bless You All & God Bless Our Country!!!SmileyCentral.comSmileyCentral.com
Joe

Monday, May 18, 2009

I Do Not Go Away - Google.

I sure many thougt I would not follow up on my distain with Google, but I have a very angry side to me, especially when being called a thief. Years ago maybe, now no way. So here is to google, using spell & grammar checker so they could understand. Also, no answer from them yet. No balls I guess.



April 28, 2009

Mr. Eric Schmidt
Chairman of the Board & Chief Executive Officer
Google
1600 Amphitheatre Pkwy.
Mountain View, CA 94043

Dear Mr. Schmidt:

I am sure that you maybe wondering why there is a check for $0.81 attached to this letter.

Well there is a good reason for that, I do not appreciate being basically called a thief and a purveyor of illegal intent of taking funds from anyone. This blood money is repayment for what I was paid by Google Ad sense, because someone unknown to me was clicking on the ads on my blog. I presume from the insulting email I received from your outfit, they were not justified. I appealed, since I did not even know that I was to get paid, and basically as far as I am concerned was called a liar and complicter by your staff.

You see I suffer from Alzheimer’s and Frontal Temporal Lobe Dementia. I have a blog located at http://living-with-alzheimers.blogspot.com/. On this site I tell of how the disease affects me and how I cope with it. I started it to help caregivers, physicians and those whose loved ones suffer from the disease, what it is like in Our World. Maybe in a small way giving them some comfort as to how it is not their fault and that they could do very little.

I thought Adsense would be good, because it listed sites and places for people to go on my blog as well as in the posting. The ads were pertinent to the blog and entries. This was my whole thrust. But YOUR PEOPLE, I guess felt I was just trying to steal from you. So hence I return the $0.81 to you, I would not want your firm to suffer any financial hardship over this, or your dog not be able to eat because of it.

As a point of interest, The Wall Street Journal thought enough of me and my integrity to feature my blog in the paper. HBO Media also has honored me by including me in their The Alzheimer’s Project, which airs in May 2009. By the way you can find the information on Google.

I remain,
Joseph Potocny

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Hurray For Tuesday!!!!!!!

SmileyCentral.com
Yes normally I post how cruddy things are but Today is different.SmileyCentral.com It is time to say Happy Birthday to the newest member of our family, Ms. Kiaya Lynn Patterson, born Tuesday 1/27/2009 at 2:56 PM. Towering over the Empire State Building standing 21" tall. Yes and you guys best becareful she weighted in at a solid 8lbs 14oz, more than capable of slapping you one upside the head if you get fresh. Please join these grandparents in wishing Morgan & Ross, along with Kaiya, Chase & Lilly all of God's blessing and happiness.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!SmileyCentral.com
Joe

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

This Pretty Well Sums It Up!

The folowing is form some friends of mine, slightly more mature than I and walk in my World. Though I forget many of a friend until I get an email, it still amazesss me that you can grow to love and care about those you have never seen or shared a spoekn word with.

HOW TRUE IT IS

Another year has passed
And we're all a little older.
Last summer felt hotter
And winter seems much colder.

I rack my brain for happy thoughts,
To put down on my pad,
But lots of things, That come to mind
Just make me kind of sad.

There was a time not long ago
When life was quite a blast.
Now I fully understand
About 'Living in the Past'..

We used to go to friends homes,
Baseball games and lunches.
Now we go to therapy, to hospitals,
And after-funeral brunches.

We used to have hangovers,
From parties that were gay.
Now we suffer body aches
And sleep the night away.

We used to go out dining,
And couldn't get our fill.
Now we ask for doggie bags,
Come home and take a pill.

We used to travel often
To places near and far.
Now we get backaches
From riding in the car.

We used to go out shopping
For new clothing at the Mall
But, now we never bother...
All the sizes are too small.

That, my friend is how life is,
And now my tale is told.
So, enjoy each day and live it up...
Before you're too darn old!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR
& thanks for making my days enjoyable by your Blog and e-mails funny or sad .

Wally & Delores

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
joe

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

December Already!!!!

SmileyCentral.com
Yes it is that time of year again. For me Thanksgiving seems years ago. Time no longer has a start and finish for me.SmileyCentral.com Well it will be here soon, probably sooner than I think and be gone before I know it was here. This year has been fillled with manny things for me. Or I think it was, I am no longger sure of it. But I still awake each day and breathe, I might looose most of the day but I am still there somewhere for it. Funny somedays I feel in total control and then for days I have no idea what is going on. I try to get to this each day, but at last it does not work that way. Early or not at all for the most part. Catch Ya All Later.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours! SmileyCentral.com
Joe

Monday, November 3, 2008

Dropped Call * Dead Zone

This is how I feel in the World of mine, like a droppped call or just the buzzing on the line. The thoughts are there but the connection to the jaw finds a dead zone. No messeages come or go out. It gets frustrating as you talk and sudddenly the line goes dead and your jaw stops and you look at the person and you choke up trying to get the words out and suddenly even the thought is gone. Emptiness in the brain cell. It happens when trying to write on this blog, I sit and have things to say and then the brain, fingers and keys on the keyboard become strangers. I go nowhere without someone with me, not good idea. Now the family worries because of the heart problems, I just look at it as one moore thing to add to the list, someday I will get through the list and have to start over, why, because i won't remember the beginning of it, so I will not know if I got to the end. This all makes perfect sense to me. But then so does waxy ear build up, whatever the hell that means. I know I do like hearing from folks who stop by and take the time to read my babble, strange humor and other things.

If you want to know about me truly, read my post, A Warriors Lament, it tells about me from beginning to where I am at now.You may not understand it, but I do and that is what matters to me. Well for now have fun and be kind to yourself.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
Joe

PS: VOTE TOMORROW - I HAVE ALREADY.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Those Good Old Golden Years!

Golden Years, right fillled with AD, FTD, BiPolar, Sinus Problems, cannn't see worth a damn and no left ear drum. I forget it means gold crowns not porcelian or metal, gold hip joints, gold nee joints and oh yes golden colored build up in your arteries, aren't the Golden Years fantastic. Up my patooty. I found out today that the bottom portion, the tip area of my heart does not get any blood, so I could have a heart attack, not onew that would kill me, but probably wished it would. So we go on a medical regement and change of eating habits to help correcvt it and if that does not work we become invasive and go in and look. This is why I have DDS most people call it ED, erctile dysfunction, I call it dead dick sysdrome. It stands up and salutes then dies. Well I guess soon I won't remember what it is for anyhow, I am starting to have vague memories of what it was used for. Well I am still breathing so it is ok. Just had to expound on this crap for a minute. I thank you all for listening and being out there for all of us in my World.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!
Joe

Monday, August 25, 2008

My Life Today

Lately i have not told how I feel and what is happening. So, I feel like shit, the affects of this disease are catching up. I cannot be out walking and such for more than ½ hour or I feel like I am about to leave this pldace. I find converstions more and more difficult, unless I am truly angry or extremely focused on one point. Any distratction and I am lost.It is difclut I know for others to understand how hard it can be to hold a conversation, they are draining and hurt. My trembling is worse, my head spins when I turn in, hitting the ground is quiet annoying and becoming uncofortbale. Forgetting in the midle of something I am doing really ticks me off to know end, because I cannot get back to where I was, it is just plain gone. I just hope this blog helps someone.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!
joe

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Belated Freedom Wishes

To all my friends, readers and distractors from whatever Country you live in, I send you belated greetings for the freedom that this Country has always fought for qne hope you enjoyed the day. To all of you that live in this foggy World of Mine, with AD, FTD, Picks, Lewy Bodies, Parkinsons and just plain old dementia (whatevwer that is) A special hello and thanks to you. I just was not able yesterday to put it together to write you all. As things grow tighter in my mind and ability to express them I get more and more frustrqted. But the good side is that in a short time I forget the frustration. I feel like I live in 3 Worlds, Yesterday, Something Called Today, and What is To Come (tomorrow).My temperment is slowly becoming unpleasant, I am even more straight forward then I ever was. I try to say thank you Lord for putting this asshole in my life, but I to offten find myself telling them to eat shit and bark at the moon. It is difficult to watach what I say around my grandkids, so I try to just sew my lips shut. Does it work? EEEEH It is getting harder each day to get my backside in gear to do something. The Warrior that once existed in me and fought every battle thattt came our way, has finally laid down his lance, his battle axe is rusting, but he is still moving, but I need jiff lube for the armor to stop its fricken squeaking. I do not want people to feel sorry for me because I don't, my life has been filled with battles and challenges and have risen to them all, I guess it is now my turn to rest and sort of pass the sword on to others. But I am a stuborn SOB. To all I say thank you for stopping by to visit with me. I hope your lives are filled with what the Lord wants for you.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!
Joe