Something Different From Me

Yes a big HELLO to you all. I wish to thnak all of you who write to me. And those of you whose blogs I have listed although I may not leave comments I do read them in the back office of my blog, where I constantly recieve your updates,. This morning is calm for me, feels strange. But it is like the weather wait a minute things will change, so I though I would get this off now. Your sharing of your troubles with your loved ones brings a sense of calmness to me at times. See it is nice to know (unfortunately), that I am not alone out here. I want to say thank you for being there for me, it truly helps. You know you can comment however you chose, good, bad, rotten, ugly, beautiful, your choisce but remember I do not edit comments and they get posted as written. That is how I post and you deserve the same.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
Joe

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Hurray For Tuesday!!!!!!!

Yes normally I post how cruddy things are but Today is different. It is time to say Happy Birthday to the newest member of our family, Ms. Kiaya Lynn Patterson, born Tuesday 1/27/2009 at 2:56 PM. Towering over the Empire State Building standing 21" tall. Yes and you guys best becareful she weighted in at a solid 8lbs 14oz, more than capable of slapping you one upside the head if you get fresh. Please join these grandparents in wishing Morgan & Ross, along with Kaiya, Chase & Lilly all of God's blessing and happiness.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
Joe

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Creating Memories in The Mist

As many of you that read my blog know how I feeel about leaving my grandchildren with found memories and not those to come. Welll my eldest and her two kids have ben with us during moving, unfotunately my other two in WA have not been My grandson likes to hide behiind the couch and table and rub my hair while I try to grab his hand he is 2 and it is a game. Both him and my granddaughter help me get off the couch and want to play. This old guy doesn't last long at though, but it is form them and the joy I do get. My granddaughter is starting I feel to understand that somethiing is wrong with grandpa, but she isn't sure what it is. Even with the bad days and not remembering, I am doing my best to be happy and enjoy what time I have left. What the hell that was the Drs. prescription. I am happy most of the time and I think it is because I have accepted what awaits me and I know longer fear it or care when the line is crossed, my granddaughter is sitting with me while I write this old motor mouth. WE that suffer from various forms of dementia can live and enjoy the time we have, crap why not, we are going to forget the pain and sorrow of before so go out dancing. I weap more for those around me, because they have to watch from the otherside, see I soon forget and get lost in the conversssations and what is happening quiet often. So my sorrow is momentary. My wife shakes her head at me as we walk through the grocery store and I sing songs I make up so everone can hear, some are very colorful and I talk to everyone. Till nex time:
God Bless,
Joe

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As The Clouds Move In

"They" say whoever they maybe that thossse of us that suffer from the diffferent forms of dementia do not know that it is happening. Surprise your are full of dog dodo. I look at each day as things very slowly slip away and I see that cloud on the horizzon. I have always had a thirst for knowledge and doing things (when I was not being lazy). That once mighty river and fire that burned insside of me has slowly turned to a brook and a candle and it makes me sad. As I get lost in conversationnns and it takes me longer sometimes to recognize those I knoww, I feel the battle ground beneath my feet shake a little harder. I fought threw the cruelty of a bruttle father and naive mother, an addicted teen life and young adult drunk. I finally learned to love without strings and taking only to have it yankked from my very arms. But I had learned to finally lovve and give freely and became clean and sober in the process. Now I enjoy when I am able to my family, even with the cancers and brain injuries that occured to my children and wife the fucked up relations they had, I still was able to move forward and win the battles. Now my time has slowly come, I haaave great trouble in expressing myself anylonger, conversations and even this take a great deal of concentration and energy that I am left exhausted. I stand with open arms to welcome to my world that which is coming, for I believe that peace will be with it and this confusion, frustration and physical pain will be forgotten, at least one can only hope. Many I talk to with dementia, get angry with me when I talk of the death of me, who I am, I think it is because they know that it is true for them also. God Bless you all and one day we shall alll meet.
Joe

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