I am honored to have added......

Finally Cousin Cliff from the HBO series is now on In Memory of Page.  He was born James Clifton Holman. For many years he entertained thousands of children on his TV show. It is only fitting that his final momments were caught on film for the screen. Welcome Cliff.


God Bless
joe

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When is it time?

This is a question I pose to all of you caregivers. When is it time to take away all of the freedom that a person with AD or any kind of dementia? Like the bank accounts... You take them over and they still have to put their fingers in it so things are not quite right, or you know they need to go to the DR. but refuse. The dentist, but they refuse. Takeing a bath and unless you are hog tying them down they are not going to take it. No I am not talking about you Joe. I also know that if things are not taken care of it is a form of abuse but what do you do?How do you deal with those issues. I know that they are coming for me and I can't hogtie Joe down. He is just too strong for me. This is something that I would think all caregivers deal with at some point. When do you put into effect the POWER of attorney and tell them that they can no longer make any decision? It is sad that they are losing what they are and knowing it but when do they not know anymore? Input from all of you would be good because I will be needing this information too and I am not looking forward to it. This will be a battle of epic porportions when I do.
Take care

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What's in a day

Let's start with how Joes' day goes. He gets up and goes in and turns on the computer. We moved it upstairs after our son moved out. Then he goes down and feeds and waters the bird. , takes his meds. That may or may not tire him out so he will sit and most likely fall asleep sitting on the couch. On Fridays that is towel day. He gathers all the towels in the house and washes, dries and puts them away. This could take anywhere from an hour and a half to all day because he has forgotten that he started them, and most likely will sleep again. He has his tacquitos several times in a day or not depending on wheter or not he remembers if he is hungry. We all ask him if he wants anything. Then there are the times that he is staring off into space and you ask if anything is wrong and he shrugs and says Ehh. Yesterday I asked him and he said that he was tired and did not care anymore. He wants to go home. It is getting harder for him to get his thoughts across and out to us. We play alot more charades. It is a good thing I know how his brain works or we would never have a conversation.
I think that is enough for now and will do more later.
Take care
Lynn

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This Comment Deserves Posting Status

The following comment deserves to be used as a post. This is what I have tried to get others that were invited as posters to do. I share my side, you share yours.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "About the parboiling":

Good morning Lynn and Joe. I can certainly relate to this situation. Unfortunately, memory is not the only effect of this disease but also logic,reasoning, and EGO are noticably effected. We have one and a half acres of lawn which we have a good sized tractor for mowing. My husband refuses to allow me to mow with the tractor and always says that I wouldn't be able to handle it. The truth is I used to do the mowing with the tractor but he claims that he doesn't remember that I ever did. The truth has come out that he really feels it is the one thing he still does and doesn't want me taking over it. We have fought and fought over this over recent years now and I can't seem to win. His abilities to maneuver and control the tractor are noticably impared but I still cannot get him to concede to allow me to do the mowing. He is aware that he has problems with doing the mowing and procrastinates just as long as he possibly can. The best plan that I have come up with is to use the hand mower to cut the two areas that are potentially dangerous with the tractor. When I first started doing this he even continued to take the tractor over the same areas that I had already mowed just because he resented the idea that I felt it was something he could no longer do. I just can't seem to get across to him that just having him safe and uninjured by my side day after day is so much more important to me than him proving to himself that he can still do certain things. I think we could all benefit from hearing from others who have faced these challenges and how they were able to successfully navigate through these types of situations. Thank God Joe's experience was his parboiled fanny and not a fall from the roof! I pray that my husband's experience will only be damage to his tractor and not to his body.
May God bless us and guide us through our journey of life, whatever it brings our way!



Posted by Anonymous to Living with Alzhiemers' at 6:50 AM


God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!!
joe

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I think that Anonymous has hit it right on the head. There are times that I want to wring the old guys neck. I love him and always will but he can be such a pill that it he is hard to take. But then he would dearly love for all of us to take a hike and not come back because we bug him. Two way street. I have not wanted to write on the blog because I am a private person and Joe has put us out here. So I guess that in the long run if it helps one of you out there, so be it. I understand the not happy caretaker thing. Joe and I have had a few problems lately and I have walked out of the house a few times and I probably will a few more before this is over. I have promised him that I will let him know when I am leaving now because the last time I left for 20 min. he left and we did not know where he was for an hour until the park rangers found him.
I was even on the phone with the police. Scary times. Our kids say things will get better but I feel that things will only get different. Better will be when we do not have any more worries or fights. I cry alot too. You really are not as alone as you think. I have not coped with this as well as it seems. I am learning though that there are others out here that feel as I do and I guess that is what this blog is all about. Please keep reading and posting when you can or care too. Our stories are so close, Joe hates to go out and I wait for him to decide what he wants to do, we tell each other that we love each other when we are awake to do so. Forget it at night. I do believe that he is grateful that I am around, but I do not expect him to say it. Just holding hands sometimes is enough.
Take care and enjoy those moments when he is truly with you.
Lynn

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talking it out

Joe just told me about the lady in the previous post. So here's to helping her at least dog paddle. Joe does not talk alot about how he is feeling anymore and as he puts it I nag. It is not so much nagging but wanting in to his thoughts so I can understand what he is thinking and how he is feeling. Yes I know he does not know what he is thinking alot of the times but when he does it is really good. So I am relegated to asking only once a say certain questions such as "what's on your brain?" To which the answer is usually mud, eh, or I forget. I have to ask specifically about how he is feeling to a body part. If I ask in general I can only ask once a day. So if I know his fingers hurt or his head hurts I ask specific questions. I also have learned how to ask the same question in different ways but he is catching on. So he will ask me if I have already asked that for the day. And don't be afraid to say hey it's not my fault I am here for you but let me in once in a while. I need to know how he is feeling so that I am prepared to help with either just holding his hand or letting him be on his own. Even though they have this problem going on in their heads they still need alone time too.
Hope this helps a little.
Lynn

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Alone

For those of you that read the comments and those that are taking care of anybody with this damn disease you understand what Deb is talking about. Our lives take on a new direction. Not only are those with the disease withdrawn but so are the family members and the caregivers. We are withdrawn from society because we can't get them to go out or hold a conversation anymore. So yes we sit and watch tv shows and do things that we do not really want to do because it is what they want to do and it is hard. Try to keep doing normal things for you. If only it is to get out to the grocery store, or have lunch with a friend. We have lost our best freinds. And we will lose them again. Conversations are hard because they either do not want to talk or they can't get the right words out. We play charades alot. Joe will want to say something and usually starts ok but he ends up pointing or grimacing and I can usually figure out what it is he wants. As with everything else it too will go down the drain. Joe started this to let everybody that wanted to, realize what was happening inside a victims head, understand what they were going through. I am glad that he has helped.

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