As The Door Closes.

sounds like a soap opera, but that is what is happening to my life. My eldest and her group were here the other day and when I said goodbye to my granddaughert who is 9, she aaid grandpa why don't you call me that name anymore when we leave and i did not know what she was talking ablut and asked her, she said oh it is ok grandpa, you just don't remember things anymore. That kind of hit home as to she understands and can see the changes taking palace. My daughter and I think it was the same day told me she missed me and i was really lost on that one. I just looked at her and she told me she misses how we would jokw around and that i do not do that much anymore but she understood that things were getting harder for me. It almost felt like she said goodbye while she still could. Right now i feel like shit and am not in a good place, which seems to becoming normal. Oh well It is What it Is.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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I have Alzheimer's and need to have fun with it or sit and cry.

Those of you who care for us with Alzheimer's konw how difficult we can be . We can get damn angery and quiet uncontrollable at times. I know I can get really confrontaitional to the point of physical violence and those around me knwo when to back away quickly and let me be. This is not really funny at all but I have to show you a video my daughter took of my getting out of hand.  Before Viewing You may want to go down on the right and turn off the music. As you can see they keep me well under control.

to get the full affect of this you will need your speakers turned up.

Again I am not making fun of this part of the disease but am trying to handle it in a funny sort of manner, be pissed, angry or upset with me, I have to deal with this.  As physically I am moving quickly to the later stages, my mind is starting to follow to fast but i will laugh as long as i can.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!

joe

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Your Help & Advice is NEEDED.

I have a decession to make and i am asking you to help me with this. Now i know many of you do not leave comments or only once in awhile, i have found that person anonymous on my site, you know the one that tells the media something or politicians heard it from. But however you chooose to answer please do.

Some of you may remember the short clip in my tiny part of The Alzheimer's Project, where me and my phycologist were talking, he was the good looking young guy with the nice hair.We met the other day, yes i still see him, the poor guy needs help with his car payments. He is very aware of my blog, the documentary, my book and the number of people you have helped me reach. If you use the resources on the side and go from one to the other and use there resources you will eventually reach over 1200 sites for caregivers, information on various forms of dementia, different blogs of those suffering, charities and the rest, all because of suggestions you have passed on to me.

Here is the skinny as they say, whoever they are, Dr. Cain has suggested tapping my sessions now that thingss are going to hell in a hand basket and posting them on my blog. I can post them there or to my You Tube account. You all know i hold nothing back and some of ours sessions are alot livelier and wordy then my posts. He has no problem with it, i have no problem with it, Lynn is undecided at this thime.  We are thinking it will give a better face to the disease not just words, but you get to see my Bright Shinning Face and drool I know it is tough being me. But you couls start to see the true reality of this bastardly disease.

YOUR COMMENTS AND THOUGHTS PLEASE!

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!

joe

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My Friend Carol has asked for Armagedon.

Yes Carol you have asked me to bring the wrath of the Lord on us. Me making a video of me dancing, is like asking 40 Blue Whales to come ashore and dance, it would shake the ground and mountains of the world, then you said about maybe one of me singing.  Well i do not know if you ever herd a bull mose bellow, I am far worse, cows calve, horses fold, birds take flight and forest fall down. And gardening, my idea is dig a hole put the pott with the plant in the ground, if the grass or plants get brown spray paint them with green paint. I think he who made us all would not allow such a plaque on his world done by one like me, that is his job.  I have tried to play him in my life, got no where but arrested, told to go away, drunk and strung out for years, toooooo many battle scars to do that anymore, so my friend no way.

I have thought about making a video for You Tube, but as a suffer of this disease to verbaly tell folks about this world that i and many others live in. Not the crud from the experts and sorry caregivers, who really do not know who we are, but love us enough to help. People need to really know what it truly is like for us that suffer. Have tried with my blog and my book and well, my ego is now in the way and it has gotten kikced in the ass.  Maybe the video might help as my time grows shorter.

I know I sound damn good today, but I am in a rotten mood, spent two days in court testifing  in a fraud case that cost my son 56000 investment. Good thing the judge wa s a compassionate and understanding person, because you all know how I can say things and how blunt i get. I tired as hell no sleep, hours in the court room and me basically the only witness for two days, traveling to court being out with people which just drives me squirerler than I already am. Meds have not helped much but I am here today and I guess that is what counts. Confused as hell, not really knowing what I feel or want or much of who I am anymore.

I thank all of you that responded to Lynns last post, it shows what a family we are becomming and she really was touched. But why not she is with me, so you know she is sick to. But I do thank you, because what you did and said is why this blog is here and all are welcomed.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!
joe

PS> prayer for those who fight to keep us all around the world free, and for those suffering in Japan, they did not ask for this, no more than the folks in New Orleans asked for Katrina.

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Alzheimer's may start in liver

New Study released. Who know's. I wish i was a mouse.
They seem to have all the luck. Clicking the title should take u there.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!
joe

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I Can Take Directions???????

I was told do not shoot the refrigerator.  Last hunting trip it was still alive and well. I just look straight in and not at the botoom creatures. They call but I do not listen I just hear them, kind of like your kids do.

Went and saw my shrink today and we changed meds again, or actually I did.  Told him the last stuff he gave me I think it was lats month was at the hazardous waste dump. It ripped my system apart. Back on the old stuff, feeling fine, except have to get the old poop train back on track and the fund dissolver as well.

having fun refinishing a cedar chest, of course my friened Bobby had to sand the thing, otherwise it would have had mountain ranges and gorges in it. He did a beautiful job on the sanding. Yess my staining and varnishing shills are excellent except the stuff makes me loopy, just what I need.

To all of you who visit here and leave your comments, I deeply appreciate them. You who claim to have nothing to say, I say bull, HELLO works well. Nothing important to add, the fact that you stop by, say hello or whatever is important to me and the rest of this world family we have created.So do not be shy.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!!!!
joe

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This Comment Deserves Posting Status

The following comment deserves to be used as a post. This is what I have tried to get others that were invited as posters to do. I share my side, you share yours.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "About the parboiling":

Good morning Lynn and Joe. I can certainly relate to this situation. Unfortunately, memory is not the only effect of this disease but also logic,reasoning, and EGO are noticably effected. We have one and a half acres of lawn which we have a good sized tractor for mowing. My husband refuses to allow me to mow with the tractor and always says that I wouldn't be able to handle it. The truth is I used to do the mowing with the tractor but he claims that he doesn't remember that I ever did. The truth has come out that he really feels it is the one thing he still does and doesn't want me taking over it. We have fought and fought over this over recent years now and I can't seem to win. His abilities to maneuver and control the tractor are noticably impared but I still cannot get him to concede to allow me to do the mowing. He is aware that he has problems with doing the mowing and procrastinates just as long as he possibly can. The best plan that I have come up with is to use the hand mower to cut the two areas that are potentially dangerous with the tractor. When I first started doing this he even continued to take the tractor over the same areas that I had already mowed just because he resented the idea that I felt it was something he could no longer do. I just can't seem to get across to him that just having him safe and uninjured by my side day after day is so much more important to me than him proving to himself that he can still do certain things. I think we could all benefit from hearing from others who have faced these challenges and how they were able to successfully navigate through these types of situations. Thank God Joe's experience was his parboiled fanny and not a fall from the roof! I pray that my husband's experience will only be damage to his tractor and not to his body.
May God bless us and guide us through our journey of life, whatever it brings our way!



Posted by Anonymous to Living with Alzhiemers' at 6:50 AM


God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!!
joe

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When Happiness Leaves & Shadows Come

As I walk on this journey of mine, although not alone, it does not seem that way anymore.

The wife and I have tried to have discussion about what is going on with me, but that veil of secrecy that has always been around me seem to be even thicker now. It is becoming more difficult for me to express what is happening and what is inside, because frankly I am not sure what the hell is taking place. I get more lost in my own head then I do elsewhere. Out and about with people is close to being a no no.

Lynn has asked me several times what would make me happy. Each time she has asked I come up with only one answer and that is to die or cross over the line. I no longer like this on the edge shit, it is to confusing, frustrating and just gets in the way of everything. I spend to much time crying inside and I have come to dislike me a great deal. But there really is nothing I can do about that, the disease is doing its job and the meds, even increasing them is not helping. Knew this time would come, just did not want to be here for it. But since I am not the ruler of the universe, be thankful, it is not in my time but his (I wish he would hurry).

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!!!
joe

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Is There Sex After Dementia?

Yes if you are a rabbit.  See all other tests are done on lab mice, so if they do not have it you cannot, because according to all the people with Paper Hanging Degrees (PHDs), mice and us are very much alike. I have often wondered why I had four feet, a long tail and grey fur, how stupid of me.

OK this is a serious question. I cannot speak for anyone but myself. For quite awhile the answer was NO. It did not work and my brain did not stay with it and still does not. I am allergic to the pills, I am not having rods stuck in my pride and joy, nor having a pump put in it or on it.  But guess what there are shots. They use, let me get this right, vascular dilators, and have nothing to do with your sex drive or lack of it. This is man side only, sorry ladies. You administer the shot in the right or left side of uncle willie only. Not on the top, bottom, tip, or like stupid here in a vein they burst and hurt. But when done with accurate precision there is no pain, you may sweat a lot the first couple of times, but really no pain. The bugger can remain erect for sometime, so dosage has to be adjusted. One lasted almost 10 hours, wife was worried I was not, gosh it was nice to see my old friend again. Ice packs finally killed it. Notice using spell check, want to get this one right.

So YES there is SEX after Dementia. If you want to take the steps and can remember why you have these needles and stuff in the refrigerator to begin with. Thank god my wife remembers, because I am truly getting more messed up upstairs than you know, it is taking it's toll on me, conversations suck, I loose time, I cannot get out what I want to say without my tongue getting in the way, wife has learned dementiaese, new form of speaking.

Well that is all for now, more the next time whenever that is.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
Joe

LEGAL CRAP: The views expressed here are the views of the poster. They are not meant in any way fashion or shape to be medical advice or suggestive in anyway as how to improve your sex life, nor do they represent any deceased or living persons (except the poster), and no animals were injured in the writing of this post. Seek medical advice before trying any sexual enhancing means and be sure you are healthy enough for sex. Had to say this or I would get sued and somebody would win possession of my Alzheimer's and FTD, the lucky SOB.

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I Applaud The Younger

So I am late getting to this, what the hell my fingers needed to be dusted off. What follows are a couple of emails that I want to post, one with full permission, the other not so identity will be with held from that one.

My name is Jordyn and I am twenty years old studying occupational therapy.  My professor had us watch the HBO Living with Alzheimer's documentary for my class, functioning of the older adult.  I just wanted to let you know that I really respect you for opening up your life to the world and writing so freely in your blogs.  How great is it that people of all ages follow your blog!  People from 15 years old to 100 years old are reading your story and I think that is truly amazing.  Hearing you say that your life didn't matter in the great scheme of things broke my heart...I just wanted to let you know that your life does mean something and I hope to follow your blogs from now into the future.  It's a wonderful thing you're doing.  Have a great day!  

Sincerely,

Jordyn

Hi Joe,

I am so excited that you e-mailed me back!  I would be honored if you posted my comment.  I actually just found out today that I was accepted into my Occupational Therapy program at Western Michigan University and I plan to work with older adults in my future career.  I hope you are your family are doing well.  I will keep you in my prayers.  Thank you so much for e-mailing me back.

Sincerely,
Jordyn Bell
Hey Joe! 

I saw you on the Swedish Channel 2 today! I heard
you talking about your illness and I feel for you thou I am only 18
years old. I hope that you can have a wonderful life and be happy all
your waken time with your loved ones. God knows you deserve it!

Greetings from Sweden!
Dear Joe
I continue to be thankful for your help in understanding
what my dad went through as we lost him to AD. Although he no longer
knows me when he sees me, he often talks about his daughter and has
wonderful memories of our time together. Although I miss my dad
terribly it is some comfort that I was able to give him memories of
being loved and appreciated. I pray those memories of time with your
wife and family will remain. And that you will continue to find days
when you are with us all. Take care
These are emails from younger people, those that are coming up the line to care for those that will follow me and are caring. This is what keeps me posting knowing that just maybe, just maybe, we are reaching people and someday maybe just by complete accident one of these and the others in Brazil, Sweden, Chile, Argentina, Australia and other places that have writen by accident just may find out why this disease is. I am not talking a cure or a medicine that MAY SLOW things down, but what really causes this.  Then and only then will the real breakthroughs come and not before. I applaud you young folks, just for your interest not to mention the course you are setting for yourselves. I WELCOME YOU TO MY WORLD.
God Bless & Keep You and This Country of Ours!
joe
PS. To my friend Dr. Joe, I am a dumb SOB, ask those who really know me, God Bless and Keep You my Friend.

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Last Night

Last night I found myself in very difficult and not likeable sitution.  It was a rough day for me as it was. We sat down for dinner and I put my food on my plate and completely froze. I had no idea what I was doing or what to do, my wife tired to help put I just told her leave me, she put my fork in my hand and it just fel from it, I was in a state of, in betweenness, between here and there. I finally started eating but with my fingers and slowly got back to where I should be. I am about 4 or so years into this and it is taking hold now as it seems to do about this time.

Now I am a beginning to become really concerned and not so humorous, but life will go on and so will I. I guess that line of no return is getting closer and sneakier about things.

Well that is it for now from: us here in Oceanside, CA.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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The Gift of Alhziemer's!

Yes I know what gift? You need to have the disease to understand. See because of this blasted thing, I learned something today that I did not know, even with it starring me right in the kisser. I was reading over some emails I got because of the HBO Documenttary.

It brought people I knew from over 50 years ago back into my life. Of course they had to tell me how, when, why, etc., before the old noodle could grasp it. This may get long and run in circles, but what the hell, if I can run in them so can you.

You see I wanted most of all to be a good husband, lover, friend, father and someone the Lord would be proud to call his child. Well I feld very badly in my own mind and soul. So as I re read an email from my first girlfriend, the only one nuts enough to date me, Cheryl, I really realized how fortunate I am to have AD. You see, I have invited her to guest blog, but no response, what an asset to this site she would be. Now remember she dated me (poor lady), her mom has AD and Cheryl works for The Alz. Org. in Colorado what a wealth of help.  But more than that, after we broke ups I had 16 years of a real messed up life.  So you understand and I am not sure I do, she was about 5'6"  115#, brown hair, brown eyes and nicely, well very pleasant to look at, not what a memory, she sent me a picture from that time, and a Leo. I always felt comfortable with her, but life goes on and people (me) screw up alot.  What does that matter to you or me, well I just described my wife of over 30 years. Now she is stuck with an AD patient and she is a Leo to, and I have asked her to post, but you know these lions the roar, but are really just pussy cats. Because of this and the special I have found that my family was my career and Mr. How Smart Am I, was not even aware of it. Cheryl and the rest of you have shown me that and I am well pleased inside.

Still confused and not sure what I will do from moment to moment but I am having quiet an adventure, and sometimes it is pretty rotten. Just spent a week isolated to my self and not really talking to anyone, without being short and less than Kind. I find that, at least i do, just wip back without concern of what I am saying. From those I tak with that have this disease seem to do that alot to. Well enough of me for now. Be good and take care of yourselves.

God Bless You & Keep You & This Country of Ours! (The World Needs Him To)
joe

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New Link Added

First let me say that if you have not tried Google Chrome, you might want to, much faster.

I have added a link to the Beijing Tiantun Puhua Hospital today. This may seem strange to you, but I figure if they can use this blog as a source for them in China, least I could do was add them to my links. They contacted me, let me say that kind of took my socks off.

I needed their contact, the last couple of days have been very uncomfortable and less then memorable and they made my day. It has been difficult to know where I have been, but I know I have not been with my family or my own brain, but that is life with AD and any dementia.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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May The Lord Bless You This Day & Always!!!!

From my family to yours a very Blessed and Happy Easter. To those of you who have entered this World of mine and do not celebrate the day, celebrate it with us for you are welcomed here.  To all I extend to you my hand so that YOU KNOW, THAT YOU, NEVER HAVE TO DO THIS THING CALLED LIFE ALONE EVER AGAIN.

Well I have started inviting some folks to be guest bloggers and we will see how this works. I have tried with a 24 hour chatroom for you, that was not used, different ways of talking not taken advantage of. See This is My Blog, but You are a part of it and I would like you to share in it. Only requirement is that you deal with dementia, as a caregiver, reasearcher or one on this road of unknown journey. Thanks Dr. Joe for being first to join in.

If you wish to join me and others here, just fill out the email form at the bottom of the right hand side and send me your email address and I will send you the info. Actually Blogger will send it for me.

Well the family has descended and I have found it necessary to retreat. I can only be a jungle jim for so long and I hurt. Body is definitely not what it once was, not that it was ever much to start with. My temper is much shorter and I have a hard time controlling me, so retreating works.

I feel lost today and not quite sure what the old brain wants besides to escape and be alone somewhere.

We may He Bless You All This Day and Forever.]

God Bless & Keep You and This Country of Ours and Yours!
Joe

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A Favor to Ask.

My friend Mary, who's site is listed in my linkes, is having some real troubles health wise. Also her doctor is being a pain about meds for her hubby who has AD also. Please say a prayer for the two of them so that they get the right help. I would appreciate it. I am starting to loose to many friends to this disease.

They live in Canada and their whether is nowhere as nice as my haunts.

If I remember I will post pictures of THE POND, yes it is 95% done, need to get an electrician to run the out door cables for me. Me and electricity, not a good match, never was and even less so now.

Until later:

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
Joe

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New Studies - These People Are Idiots!

Yes that is my take on this. They do not have a clue to what they are doing.

NEW STUDY: Gist of the study is that those who have 5 cups or more of coffee each day can slow the onset and progression of Alhzeimer's. Now is what few cells I have left are working, I believe studies in not to distant past showed that this type of coffee consumption put you at a higher risk of Bladder Cancer. Well I guess drink the coffee, get the cancer, stop drinking the coffee and forget the cancer. Maybe I am wrong but seems to me, that spirits were part of this one.

Next & I Love This One: proves a point made in one of my listing.

Salk Institute scientists in La Jolla, CA: major incredible fantanstic break through. Of course we used GENETICALLY MODIFIED MICE:so normal humans won't work in this one. The GM mice "not only lived longer, but the onset of mental decline was also delayed". Reports Andrew Dillion of the university as reported in the North County Times by Bradley J. Fikes. This gets more interesting, I love amoloyids, they do not know what they are to do. According to Dillin (A Professor at Salk), their research shows that th plaques of these toxin protiens in those of us with AD and the like: ready for this: ARE NOT THE CAUSE OF THE DISEASE. Guess allyou PHDs outhere need a brain transplant. Instead and this is a quote from the article: "Instead, the clumps of beta amyloid proteins are how cells stow away the toxic proteins where they can't do damage, Dillin said."
Well now, rest of study is to be published in the 12/11 issue of Cell. Have not gotten to it yet.

I hate to rain on a parade but these folks are all over the place. This is why I am so harsh on them. They can not get their heads unstuck from their a****.

Cannot repair brain cells from what I know. So I see no cure, and all meds may slow down the progression no solid proof they do in at least 85% of AD patients, that I have found, more like maybe 20% if at all.

This is just interesting to me. You may or may not know that many NFL players over time have donated their brains for study, after they are dead to see the affects of all the concusions and blows to the heads they take do. In the group thus far checked of those in their 30,s to 50,s that have passed, it was noticed that, all though no signs at least know showed, but these guys had brains that looked like they had some form of Dementia for YEARS. just something interesting. So you folks know that I do try to keep up as much as possible on my disease and the tinker toy ways they are working on it.

Blast me, but these folks still do not get it.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
Joe

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An Email Identity Secret

Message = Hello
I work at a local Alzheimer Society .......... My co-workers and I have been watching the HBO series over our lunch hour. I wanted to stop by and visit your blog.

Thank you for having the courage to share your story so publically. You have made such a huge difference for other people with ADRD because you have put a face behind this disease. Your story is particularly important because it shows that anyone can get Alzheimer's disease...even someone as accomplished as you.

Not everyone is interested in being the "poster child" for Alzheimer's disease (for lack of a better phrase). It is such a personal journey. Thank you for the courage and commitment to do this.

Our chapter is marking it's .... Anniversary this year. In fact we are having a ... on ....... with over 150 people attending it (i.e., to honour the occasion). There are so many people who have touched the chapter...be it person's with Dementia, their family, volunteers and staff.

There are so many people who are working towards improving the quality of life all of those affected by Alzheimer's disease. I know that each of them would send you and your family their well-wishes.

I have worked at the chapter for about half that time. During that time, there have been incredible strides in research and public awareness about Alzheimer's disease. It is encouraging to see this but we all know that there is so much more that needs to be done. Your story will bring much needed awareness to this disease and will help to move things one step further in search of a cure.

Anyway, I just wanted to say hello and THANK YOU!

Sending you and your family warm thoughts...

I have removeed info that would id this person to keep them anoynomous. I am using this email because I have received countless numebers that call me the face of alhzeimers and the voice. I am neither. Just a person with this fricken disease who wants to share our side of the story with you.

I have asked all of you for pics and dates of you loved ones that passted from this disease, as all of us with it do. I received one. So I will be posting it. You see those before me are the face and voice of this disease and should be remmembered and I want this blog to pay tribute to their fight for life. I get tired of hearing about all the big people who have survived this and that, big fuckin deal. We all die period. I am tired of all the crap about cures and how to stop this disease, well prove it to me with a survivor of it. No matter the advancements the real cause and any real treatment exscapes the med prof., maybe someday, I wonder.

I hope Bill's daughter does not take offense at the pic that I have because hers did not come through so I took one from his site. To me it shows the real heart of the man and how he felt about this disease and inate love of life.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!!!!!!!
Joe

PS: I received a very sad email of the passing of one in my World, but it is sad for the daughter, for mom she is free now. The whole left of years of caregiving will be difficult I believe at best to deal with. To you my love and prayers.

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Pushy Friends!

I am glad I have some, they help remind me of what my postit notes seem to fail to do. I have not written in while. I have been elsewhere lately, not ecxalty sure where, but I have been there. Getting more tests, health is well not what is used to be. Age this disease, rotten lyfestyle when I was youndger who knows, I do not. What is starting to show more offten then not, is I have no idea what day it is and yesterday seems not to have happened. Hard to explain. But there is no longer any time frame in my brain to connnect things to, so they all seem recent and mixed up. True moments of knowing exactly what I am thinking or doing are growing fewer by the day. This is not a lot of fun and am starting to looose my humor about it. But I am getting to meet someone new each day in the mirror, so I guess that is ok.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!
Joe

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GOOD MORNING WORLD!

hope you are all fine. Chat seems to be working out ok. Have gotten to talk with some nice people. One in particular a 21 yr old woman in Boston, who at her age has taken on the daunting task of working in an Assisted Living Facility and going to host an Alhziemer's Proget meeting. I know what it takes to work in such a facility, you see that is where my mind was made up at an early age, while I handle the computer systems for 3 facilities, never would I live the way I saw. My heart broke working there.

I have gotten a few that well shall we say have not been really forward, challenge them and they disappear, oh well.

I have been told to write a bok about this journey and I hae tried but you know I thought about it and said yes good ideaa. But then I started to think, something ya thnik. I am writing a book here, completely unedited. Certainly not proof read and things but neatly. But this is a living book ever changing, always wanted to write one andnow my brain realizes after how many years at this, that I am.

A little slower on the uptake these days. Well now, I lost my train and my thoughts, fuck I hate this shit. Catch Ya Latter.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
Joe

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I Am Back, Ready or Not.

You know, no you don't, but this damn disease is a real bitch at times. I find myself having to seperate and kind of hide to keep from lashing out. We have had our one daughter and grand kids and son in law with us almost 3 weeks I think, am not handlin this well. I love them, but.

My wife and I are starting to lock horns more, she thought my last post was rather mean and spiteful, I think that is how she put it. My reply was, well you guessed it eat shit and bark at the moon. I write what I feel and how I see it. It may be clouded it maybe one sided, but it is all I know. I make no excuses for what and how I put it. Those that live in this World with me, they know, they understand and hopefully I say what they cannot at least for now, while I am able to . Yes I am angry as I write this today, better to put it here than where else I might.

Ino We that live with AD, really find ourselves fucked up alot of the time, understanding the real confusion and loss we feel is difficult I know for those on the outside looking in. See we can not get back to the outside to look in, we are stuck here and sinking deeper. Try to imagine the darkness starting to encase you slowly and you cannot stop it and you want out and NO not for you. What is that old saying when Casey at The Bat struck out, there is no joy in mudville.

Well enough from me. You all have a great day and wonderful life.
God know the idiots in Washington won't fix it, but only screw us more.
joe

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!

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