What do I see in the future?

My shrink has sent me back to my pshycologist, for help especially since his dad died from AD and he was the first to garee with me on what was taking place in my so called mind. We have been meeting for a couple of weeks again. Known each other close to 6 years.  As we sat and looked at each other, he asked why I was back and I told him.  We talked to kind of catch up to current things. He asked me, "When I look to the future, what do I see?"  My reply after starring for a few moments maybe longer was, "Darkness". I told him for me I see no future, for when you slice it all up and smooth it all out there is nothing there for me.  Just to keep loosing what abilities I have left and then crossing over the line. What is on the other side of the line, I told him I do not know for I have no idea who or what I will be, except that it will not be me. Maybe I will be lucky and pass on before that time comes. See I look at us in this world of Dementia, as throw aways, really, how many families are able to withstand the constant care they need to give us as we move forward with this disease. It definitely has got tear at them to a point of not being able to handle things. Then they have there families and their lives and all that stuff.  So put Mom or Dad or Gramps or Grams in home that can clean them up and do the things they cannot handle. Throw aways that is what we are. Never mind the years that we put into raising them and helping and nuturing and getting their asses out of trouble, that does not matter that was our job not theirs. Will I get shit for this post, YES, do I care NO, because the truth is what it is. I am becoming more distant to family and friends. My "friends" no longer email me except for those stupid forwards, some are funny. I am not part of their world and I guess they do not know how to talk to me anymore. Even those that I know that have a parent with AD and work for Alz. Org.  Bitter I guess, you see I now see my world closing in and not as broad as it once was. I have my moments, but more and more they are lessening, shopping is nearly unbearable for me now. I fear leaving home because I might get lost even though I have to be taken everywhere. Take care and be good to yourselves.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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Messing Up

I have been making some changes, and probably should have had someone else make them. A few things have disappeared and others moved to second page with everything else.  Eventuallly I hope this will all get fixed right.

The skype call button now works after months of well disconnect. See they require you put in your correct user name, can you believe that. So finally I RTFM'd (back in my computer days that meant Read The Fucking Manual), and found I forgot a (.) period in my user name. So if you have tryed without success, it seems to be working now.

Hope to have thr rest of the mes cleaned up soon. Brain cell is getting overloaded.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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Hello My Friends, Hello!

We are back from Petaluma. Daughter and new grandson doing well. She is home, Lucas still in hospital hopefully home this Saturday.

We finally got a room on base in guest quarters. Gramps here could not handle staying with the kids, even though we had our oun room. I needed a hide out period. Had to increase meds while there just to try and cope. Am Losing control of my emotions and ability to keep calm and mouth shut.

Came home sick again. But we have figured out the problem, their is mold and mildew all over tha t base and I am highly alergic to mold. So from now on will have to build up with antihistamines before we go.

Now to start back on the pond. God this disease just makes me not want to do things , forget what the hell I am doing and really now mly emotions and starting to not care about others, they are starting not to exist for me. I have a very hard time writing on this thing now. Mind wanders toooo much. But still can get out something. Body is starting to rule itself and not tell me. Eating I forget to eat or tha t I ate real pain.

Until we meet again.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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I Do Not Go Away - Google.

I sure many thougt I would not follow up on my distain with Google, but I have a very angry side to me, especially when being called a thief. Years ago maybe, now no way. So here is to google, using spell & grammar checker so they could understand. Also, no answer from them yet. No balls I guess.



April 28, 2009

Mr. Eric Schmidt
Chairman of the Board & Chief Executive Officer
Google
1600 Amphitheatre Pkwy.
Mountain View, CA 94043

Dear Mr. Schmidt:

I am sure that you maybe wondering why there is a check for $0.81 attached to this letter.

Well there is a good reason for that, I do not appreciate being basically called a thief and a purveyor of illegal intent of taking funds from anyone. This blood money is repayment for what I was paid by Google Ad sense, because someone unknown to me was clicking on the ads on my blog. I presume from the insulting email I received from your outfit, they were not justified. I appealed, since I did not even know that I was to get paid, and basically as far as I am concerned was called a liar and complicter by your staff.

You see I suffer from Alzheimer’s and Frontal Temporal Lobe Dementia. I have a blog located at http://living-with-alzheimers.blogspot.com/. On this site I tell of how the disease affects me and how I cope with it. I started it to help caregivers, physicians and those whose loved ones suffer from the disease, what it is like in Our World. Maybe in a small way giving them some comfort as to how it is not their fault and that they could do very little.

I thought Adsense would be good, because it listed sites and places for people to go on my blog as well as in the posting. The ads were pertinent to the blog and entries. This was my whole thrust. But YOUR PEOPLE, I guess felt I was just trying to steal from you. So hence I return the $0.81 to you, I would not want your firm to suffer any financial hardship over this, or your dog not be able to eat because of it.

As a point of interest, The Wall Street Journal thought enough of me and my integrity to feature my blog in the paper. HBO Media also has honored me by including me in their The Alzheimer’s Project, which airs in May 2009. By the way you can find the information on Google.

I remain,
Joseph Potocny

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A Change, I Am A Crook

I OPENED WHAT IS CALLLED A GOOGLE ADSENSE ACCOUNT, SO THAT YOU WOULD HAVE MORE RESCOURES AT YOUR DISPOSAL THROUGH SIDE ADDS. WELL GOOGLE AND OUR PRESIDENT THINK THEY CAN JUST FIRE ANYONE IN THE PRIVATE SECTOR. THE ADDS ARE GONE, SOMEONE WAS CLICKING ON THEM, GOD FORBID, WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY THEIR FOR. ANGRY YES I AM, I DO NOT LIKE BEING CALLED A THIEF OR IT BEING IMPLIED. THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT GOOGLE HAAS DONE. SO, IN MY INFINITE WISDOM I CHOOSE TO SAY SCREW THEM AND USE YAHOO FROM NOW ON. I REALISE THAAT MEANS CLOSING THIS BLOG DOWN AND STARTING OVER. BUT I TRIED TO GIVE YOU THE STORY ON THIS SIDE OF DEMENTIA AND OTHER RESOURCES, BUT GOOGLE DOES NOT THINK YOU ARE WORTHY. SO IF THIS GOES AWAY, I WILL TRY AND LET YOU KNOW WHERE I WENT, IF I REMEMBER EITHER ONE.

GOD BLESS YOU & THIS COUNTRY OF OURS!!!
joe

PS THEY PAID ME AN UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT FOR WHOEVER CLICKED TO GET THE INFO THEY WANTED YES I AM A REAL FUCKIN CROOK $0.81, LOCK ME UP NOW!

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Google Adds On My Blog!!!!

You proobably have notice that there are adds in my postings and on the upper right side of my blog. These are additional resources for you to click and go to. I do not select them, GOOGLE does, so that they fit the blogs content. It has been difficult for me of late. I am trying to make my blog more informtavie for all. The reason for the adds. Actually they are sites for you to visit and garner what info you can from them. It is my way of saying thank you for visiting me here.

The image is about Our Country. May she ever remain strong and free. Yes I bleed red, white and blue.

For awhile I had hit sort of a holding pattern and staid stable, but noe things are getting fuzzy and I forget more easily. I guess that is hust pare of this process. Well you have a good one.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!
Joe

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Something For You.

If you look to the right you will see that if you have a proble reading joeneese, You can translate my blog to different languages now. Have fun. When page switches and says TRANSLATING IN BLUE click on it and it will switch back to the blog in the language you picked.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!
Joe

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